because these things are so confusing, i decided to write them all out. so that i can see them in writing, and i won't get swayed or sidetracked.
A man's eyes are most beautiful when they are not focused on me alone, but rather, see the needs of those around him.
His words are of most value not when they're whispering sweet nothings, but when he is encourages and affirms those around him
His shoulders the strongest and manliest when he helps to bear the burdens of the downtrodden and weak.
His voice the sweetest when he speaks with thought and gentleness, even when speaking with the foolish.
His heart the most precious when it has space and love even for the unlovable.
i'm not looking for perfection, but i do want someone who has a big heart for people, even for people who are not lovely all the time.
it's not a pre requisite to have an untainted past, but I do want someone who has the humility and strength to rise again every time he falls, and to always repent and come running quickly back to God no matter what he has done wrong.
I want someone who has a strong relationship with God that is separate from his relationship with me.
I want someone whose decisions and thoughts are influenced by God's heart
I want someone whose heart bleeds when God is sad, and rejoices in God's delights.
I want someone whose thoughts and concerns are bigger than himself, that he would be ready to give himself for others, because he knows that they are precious to the Lord.
I want someone who is willing to wait, and willing to step back from showing affection or interest, if it is not in my best interests to do so, or if it is the wrong phase of my life, and would cause a stumbling block to me in my walk with God.
I want someone who trusts that the Lord has perfect timing, and will trust that the Lord knows what is best for him, and is willing to accept and understand that the best person for him, might not be me, even if that's how he feels at this point of time.
I want someone who would be willing to give me up if it is the Lord's will that he does so.
I want someone... someone who loves God more than he loves me.
i think some of it sounds a bit radical. but well, i want someone who loves God radically.
ah. but to win a man like that, i need to be a woman like that. i have a long long long way to go. perhaps thats why i haven't him yet. perhaps he is still in the process of making as well, just like i am.
well for a man like that, i'll wait, and as i wait, i want to be constantly molded more and more into a woman like that as well.
and then hopefully, someday we'll find each other.
until then, i will guard my heart well, and will not let it be compromised or sidetracked anymore.
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