Happy new year!!! And happy birthday mummy (:

Im blogging from my iphone!! I love iphone! Haha

But though its inconvenient, of course i gotta do a new year post! (:


Hmm this year has been wonderful. But bittersweet.

Sadly i cant upload photos on iphone. So i shall do another photo post another time. But anyway...

Started dancing a lot this yearrr, havent regretted it!!! ((:

And I spent a summer with puppy.

Prob one of the major stories of 2011... I met a cute puppy. We were happy for a while, and i guess we died haha. But well, we have pretty memories of each other, and we're both still happy. So i guess everything's good. Yeppss... (: Dont regret much, except that i grouchily refused to dance a last waltz with him. Oh well (: loved lots learnt lots (:

I have tons of wonderful dance girlfriends this year!!!! Super love them to bits!!! Love doing girly stuff, talking abt boys -oops- haha, shopping, doing nails, hair, eating and dancing together (((: i love my dearest carin, summer n tania!

Thanks to everyone who made even one day of 2011 special for me.
And a special thanks to those who have been there from the very start (:

of course lots of love to my 4 Js : Jesus, jess, jazi n josh

And love too to angelina, n to my dear neighbours in hall!! They're the rare friends i have outside of dance, and its wonderful to have them (:
And to Ex partner, thanks for dancing 2011 with me, i really do appreciate it, n i did have fun (:

To new partner, 2012 belongs to us! ((: i will treasure u, promise (:

And To puppy, thanks for teaching me so much, thanks for loving me, n thanks for making a silly kitten grow up. I hope u will always be happy like u are now (:


Yupsss. Anw we made new year resolutions in cell group.

I wrote:

For 2012, i want to love wisely.

It would be nice if my heart listened to my head for once in my life.


But deep inside i think i know i might nt keep it haha.

Cos i also feel that... Its best to love wisely, no doubt. But to love foolishly is better than not
To have loved at all.


Lovelove friends! Happy new year from
Hong kong!!

Will have very heavy photoposts once im back and have access to my lappy to upload photos!!

am in hk!!!

recuperating from plane hair !!!

i spent the whole ride squished between 2 sneezing ppl. i think they're allergic to me. hahaha

and the first thing i did was to forget to take my passport at the check in counter. luckily they called me back.

and we were late, so ran all the way to the gate!!

i dont think i like plane rides much.

anw, glad we're here, ate so much already!!

i feel guilty!


i should be training, not eatingggg!!!!!!!!!


lovelove

oh gosh, im so sleepy i keep yawning, but i got so much to do!!!

i couldnt find my passport just now, but my mum said she wont let me go for dance if i didnt find it, so yea, i scoured the place for it!

and i realised my SEP documents are DUE TMR!!!!!!!
GOSHHHHH

:/


have to trouble my parents to settle it for me. would be a joke if i cant go cos i forget to submit stuff. it's something only jess would do. hahah

i had to write a list of instructions on where to collect what and submit what :/

i feel so bad :/


and gosh, flying off in a bit!!

OH and cos i have no baggage allowance, i can't bring metals, which means no razor !
hahaha
imagine not shaving for days. oh gosh. haha, but is okay, i guess i can get disposable ones there (:


ok, try not to miss me too much friends!

loveloveee

Hi, my name is baby blue, i am shermine's favorite baby penguin (:

she is going to hong kong very soon with her annoying sister, but too bad her luggage is too full of clothes so i can't go with her ):

but shermine says it is a good thing that i'm not going, otherwise i would eat too much dim sum and become a fat penguin. and then i wouldn't be able to be a dancing penguin anymore.

i think shermine is quite worried for dance, because she is going to miss 8 full days of training!

but it is okay, because i will be there on both her comp days to cheer her on! (:

and i will think she's the best even if she messes up all her time steps, cha cha locks or head flicks!


i can't believe she forgot to bring me to watch her on sunny low comp. hmph.


this morning, while i was cuddled up under the blankeys with shermine, her mummy came in and said to her, "why don't u bring that penguin to new zealand and leave her there? return her to her homeland."

and both shermine and I were quite horrified!!! leave me there??? oh no!!! luckily shermine spoke up for me and said, "of course not! in fact i was intending to bring some of her friends back with me!!!"

so friends, u haven't seen the last of me yet! (:


p.s shermine's mother is quite angry with her because she wanted to bring heels to hk. because her aunty shoes broke ): haha, so shermine better be a good girl today, and quickly pack her luggage!


much love from baby blue!
<3

i love going out with the girls. (:

always lots to talk about, even if we've seen each other the day before (:

dinner at soup spoon. ever since the disastrous date at soup spoon, i've kinda avoided it for a bit. but it's still yummy (:


the girls (:


all our food! they didn't finish half of it


my pretty friend and me (: we were having a very romantic time sitting in a basket and chit chatting, and then suddenly, the place was swarmed with people ): hahah



my outfit for the day! i love it cos i'm super tall on my 5 inch heels (:



then we headed over to kim's party. (:

yups, and i can't believe im going to hk tmr! there isn't the feel of holidaying yet. haha


anyway, i suddenly remembered this line i copied down in my diary a long time ago.

"If somebody loves you, won't they always love you?"

and someone replied

"i'm going to say yes, because you seem sad"

i like this photo cos my skirt looks great flying haha


why is my bro so funny. seriously love that boy.



Bro was wearing his 'I love you more than fried chicken' shirt, but although he's so handsome, he refused to let me take a photo of his handsome face because he's worried that all the girls will chase him. i agreed with his serious concerns. so he gave me a 'talk to the hand' photo.



sister has a bruise and wound from being stabbed in the knee by some guy in her fencing team, and i have a matching one from being dropped on the floor by partner! hahaha



dinner after training at mr curry (:




why all the boys so camera shyyyy haha


super yummy rice!! i had minced beef with potato and he had tomato and cheese. but actually i think they taste the same.


the partner!



DESSERTS :D

i'm looking for a man with a golden heart

because these things are so confusing, i decided to write them all out. so that i can see them in writing, and i won't get swayed or sidetracked.




A man's eyes are most beautiful when they are not focused on me alone, but rather, see the needs of those around him.

His words are of most value not when they're whispering sweet nothings, but when he is encourages and affirms those around him

His shoulders the strongest and manliest when he helps to bear the burdens of the downtrodden and weak.

His voice the sweetest when he speaks with thought and gentleness, even when speaking with the foolish.

His heart the most precious when it has space and love even for the unlovable.





i'm not looking for perfection, but i do want someone who has a big heart for people, even for people who are not lovely all the time.

it's not a pre requisite to have an untainted past, but I do want someone who has the humility and strength to rise again every time he falls, and to always repent and come running quickly back to God no matter what he has done wrong.

I want someone who has a strong relationship with God that is separate from his relationship with me.

I want someone whose decisions and thoughts are influenced by God's heart

I want someone whose heart bleeds when God is sad, and rejoices in God's delights.

I want someone whose thoughts and concerns are bigger than himself, that he would be ready to give himself for others, because he knows that they are precious to the Lord.

I want someone who is willing to wait, and willing to step back from showing affection or interest, if it is not in my best interests to do so, or if it is the wrong phase of my life, and would cause a stumbling block to me in my walk with God.

I want someone who trusts that the Lord has perfect timing, and will trust that the Lord knows what is best for him, and is willing to accept and understand that the best person for him, might not be me, even if that's how he feels at this point of time.

I want someone who would be willing to give me up if it is the Lord's will that he does so.

I want someone... someone who loves God more than he loves me.



i think some of it sounds a bit radical. but well, i want someone who loves God radically.

ah. but to win a man like that, i need to be a woman like that. i have a long long long way to go. perhaps thats why i haven't him yet. perhaps he is still in the process of making as well, just like i am.

well for a man like that, i'll wait, and as i wait, i want to be constantly molded more and more into a woman like that as well.

and then hopefully, someday we'll find each other.



until then, i will guard my heart well, and will not let it be compromised or sidetracked anymore.

what is my heart made of?

The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the heart.
- Proverbs 17: 3


what is my heart made of?

I had a really really really nice time with jess buddy at lunch that day. so engrossed talking to her i forgot to take photos. haha

it's wonderful how we feel the same abt the same issues, and its good to know she's such a solid rock in Christ.

because when i think im about to make wrong decisions, sometimes i will think about how she will react if i told her. and yea. imagining her reactions is really quite a strong influence in some of my decision making. hahah.



anw, as i was telling her. i always pray that God will make my heart a bit bigger everyday to help me accommodate and love more people, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

but recently, i thought abt it, and i realised discernment and wisdom is just as important. because a lot of the time, the road to destruction is paved with the best of intentions. so i've been reading a lot of proverbs recently, and really thinking about it.


anyway, what i found out is, that the number one sin is PRIDE!


oh no! ):

but anyway, one other cool thing i found out, is that so far, God only talks about what sins He hates, but not one time did God say He hates the sinner.

I found that comforting.


so yes, i've been asking myself. what is my heart made of? ):


having buddy around sometimes helps. once i was going on and on about how critical and judgmental some of the dancers are. and jess gave me a funny look. and i realized that oh dear, i'm JUST THE SAME.

it's quite a slap in the face to realise that actually. and quite embarrassing. but yea, isnt it good that i have a buddy to point it out? (:


and yupss, sometimes while shopping for costumes etc, us senior girls tend to keep criticizing our dear juniors. but really, we shouldnt be mean girls ):


Dear Lord, make my heart soft, loving, and forgiving. Lord, give me wisdom to know how to draw fine lines, and how best to love and encourage.


Lord, I still want to be set apart for You. and I pray that when people interact or work with me, that I will love them unconditionally like You do, and that hopefully, they will see a bit of You too.


and yet, at the same time, Lord, I pray that You will guard my heart closely.


A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that he has to find Christ's heart first in order to find hers.

of course, the same is true of a woman. I should have to find Christ's heart first, in order to find the heart of a man of God.

haha sigh, these things are tough. God give me wisdom please.

sometimes i do get discouraged too. haha, n i wish jess buddy was there with me.


Another nice quote by Max Lucado:

“He saw you cast into a river of life you didn't request. He saw you betrayed by those you love. He saw you with a body that gets sick and a heart that grows weak. He saw you in your own garden of gnarled trees and sleeping friends. He saw you staring into the pit of your own failures and the mouth of your own grave. He saw you in your own garden of Gethsemane and he didn't want you to be alone ... He would rather go to hell for you than to heaven without you.”

Current favourite rumba song (:

"Calling"

The sun is going down on me
As she surrenders to the sea
So steal the night and fly with me
I'm calling, I'm calling

The moon is high on me and you
Is my message breaking through?
Darkened skies that once were blue are falling
So hear me now

Calling out your name
Burning on the flame
Played the waiting game
Hear my calling
Hear my calling

update: partner is STILL practising the steps at home at 1.30 am in the morning. that guy has no energy limitations.

what is that!?!?! why can't he give me even a fraction of that energy!!!!

:0


i would prac too, but my feet are burningggg

im so happy (:

super tired!

8 hours of dancing today!

feet are aching like mad from standing in heels all day! even my energizer bunny partner was kinda tired after 11pm. lol. so obviously, if he's tired, im really drained. haha

but totally worth it! we took double lesson today, and we completed both our cha and rumba routines for tda.

and the routines are both really nice (: our favourite bits and pieces of both our old routines fused together and smoothed out (:

partner is obviously awesome, and i think in time to come my teachers will love him more than me. lol. they keep telling me good stuff about him, and telling me how to improve. lol. im supposed to work to match his speed, body rhythm, and a whole lot of other things la. aiyo.


but is okay, i love watching him dance, n i love dancing with him too. and im very proud to have him beside me.

he's a great dancer, and he's also really fun to dance with in the sense that he doesnt try to stress me out, and is always willing to go over steps again and again to help me out (: and most importantly, he makes me feel that he likes dancing with me too (:


im really lucky and i know it already (:
but everyone feels a need to remind me all the time anyway. haha many ppl have been asking me where i found a guy like that, and telling me they want one too.




oh, and when my performance team teacher found out ex partner n i arent dancing together anymore, she was really shocked, and she kinda shouted 'I BEG YOUR PARDON?' and i was quite stunned by her reaction too. and she got more shocked to realise that im dancing with my new partner, and even more shocked that he's gonna be my regular partner and its not just for one comp. haha.

oh well i will work harder so one day ppl will stop being shocked that he would dance with me!!!


and yea, i used to think i'm easily embarrassed. but looks like this time, i have super thick skin, and it doesn't really affect me much! if anything, im just more determined to dance more!!!




and if it turns out it's over too fast
i'll make every last moment last
as long as you're mine.

"I want somebody to sleep with for the rest of my life and cuddle up with during a movie on the couch. Stay up all night talking about nothing. Get lost in the woods together. Challenge me, challenge him. Talk about dreams, make dreams. Have fight, the kind that only really matter just as long as you’re having them. Someone I can wrestle with, you know, play hard sometimes and not worry about breaking a nail or an arm. A guy who will bring me flowers once in awhile, maybe a rock too or a shell of some sort. Something he saw that made him think of me, made him think “this might make my girl smile” as he smiles to himself. A guy who wants me, maybe even needs me, just a little, enough to hold onto me with everything he’s got."

its official.

results were out todayyy!

they were not fab at all, but well, decent enough to get by. haha. i actually had some As, but too bad i got a C for one of my mods, which totally pulled everything down. so oh well. haha

most ppl arnd me seem happy enough with their grades as well, so everything is good (: another sem is over, and life goes on :D

anyway, i'm really happyyyy :D

and excited (:

because i finally have a new partner for latin!!!

((((((((((((((((((((:

i was really happy, and i couldnt sleep.

and today, all the official informing of teachers and ex partners is finally done on both sides, and my new partner is all mine now! :D


actually i think my teacher is kinda happy. and most of my friends are really encouraging.

only my sis is real wet blanket and grumps and sighs around the house, and keeps telling me i'll get dumped. haha

well, its not like i havent considered that possibility. i'm as keenly aware as everyone else that my new partner is trading down.

but, i'm willing to take a chance on him!

and even if he does dump me in future, i dont really have much to lose.

because ex partner n i havent been dancing well, and i was intending to break it soon anyway


but yupsss, i have to work really hard to match my new partner one day!!





but still. i owe my ex partner a huge thank you. without him i wouldnt have started dancing competitively at all.

TDA would have been one full year of partnership, but i decided that dancing TDA together would kinda be a waste of everyone's time. so yupss. we're not dancing together.



16 Jan 2011- 19 Dec 2011

*i can't believe i've only danced seriously for abt 11 months?!?! it seems like forever!!



and for now, new partner and i will be working really hard! and we'll see everyone at TDA! (:


lovelove

dinner with captain america

cha cha cha restaurant! my favourite mexican restaurant ever!




this boy was watching tom n jerry the whole dinner! he said they were more attractive than me. -.-



salsa chipsss



Flautas! so yummy (:




CHURROS :D :D :D



bro so handsome. captain america shirt.




cold rock ice cream (:




my present to bro before he's going away to australiaaaa :D we will do something together that we have not done together before! (:



we are TWO BROS :D hahaha

thank you ♥

Oh I'm a dreamer,
though my head is the clouds
i keep believin'
they really do come true,


We'll rise and fall like the waves upon the ocean,
if you take me in your arms.
So please, please will you dance with me?

im so happy i could cry

Even in laughter the heart may ache. and joy may end in grief.

-Proverbs 14: 13

im a grump.

my feet hurt. and my blanket kept rubbing the raw skin yest, so i couldnt sleep the whole night. :/

and i went to buy flowers today, and i think the florist has bad colour coordination, and when she took out my roses, she started peeling away petals that were perfectly fine, and my roses became small!!!! and she put random colours in, and i had to direct her to cut away this and that so the bouquet doesnt look so weird.
(i made her cut away all the weird looking green buds)


i helped carin tie a really pretty and neat bun (: with no bun net! (:




today at cell lunch, i got a shock. cos i thought i saw a eugene look-alike



AHHH hahaha. eugene is one of singapore's best ballroom dancers btw! haha


all so busy and excited playing games that they dont pose for pictures!!!








Finally they look up!! (:

lunch with eng teck! he's usually the one taking photos of the dancers at comps, so i took a photo of the pro at work haha, even without his fancy equipment (:


proving to him that my iphone camera is not bad too (:



doesnt it look yummy? (:



carin seriously looks like a mannequin no? hahaha




Look what i have been busy with!!!!!

managing a restaurant and bakery!!!! :D





and i have 2 lovely partners now! :D im so lucky


latin partnerrr


standard partnerrr



haha another super funny convo with bro (: anyway, my messages are the ones with the ticks, his are the ones without lol. he can make me laugh even at 1.40am.





ugly feet!!!!! seriously the leukoplast wont come off!! ): and look the bruisies blisters and raw skin!!!

ouchhhhhh. okay im whining. haha


okay gonna sleep

lovelove!

my feet really hurt!!!!!!!!

and it hurts to shower, cos water makes all my blisters sting like mad!!! esp with soap!!!

in fact i might wear my old latin heels to compete in jan if these new shoes aren't soft enough by then!




anyway, ballroom is really HARD!!!! harder than it looks :/

suddenly i felt that latin is so much more comfortable.

well, i guess practice will make perfect! (hopefully!!!)


and i really love my latin teacher (: she's like my mummy in dance!

You Don’t Need To Say Anything By Chelsea Fagan

There was a time when receiving even the most insignificant message from you would have been simply incredible — when it would have told me that, no matter what was happening, I still crossed your mind. Because as we all know, silence is the most brutal statement one can make. Screaming about how much you hated me or telling me I was ugly, well, it would have been tolerable. Hate and love are two sides of the same coin; the true opposite of love is apathy. And if you had screamed, I would have known that regardless of how hard you tried to convey your disdain for me, I still meant enough to you to write a few words, to make your sentiments known. But you remained silent, and so I shut up as well.

I have lost people in my life before — I have a choice soul or two with whom I can no longer speak. Even acknowledging their existence, or confronting them with mine, would be just too ugly and pour salt into too many wounds. There are bridges I have burned out of necessity. Yours was simply abandoned, left untended for years until weeds grew through it and the railing fell apart and it became something you might take a black-and-white picture of, but you could never cross again. It was unsafe, destroyed by neglect. And that hurt more — to see something just erode into oblivion is so much more brutal than to cover it with gasoline and to toss a match on it. I wanted fireworks, to go out with a bang. I guess that’s human nature.

And the time that we didn’t speak went from a simple act of convenience into a border which could no longer be crossed. There is an invisible moment in time, a line of sorts, that you traverse at a certain point in a mutual silence. It is the time when, from then on, starting a conversation would be awkward and jagged and require an embarrassed explanation of why you haven’t spoken in so long. We crossed that point a long time ago, whether I wanted to or not, and I knew that going back would be fruitless. Acknowledging each other was over, and it was time to accept the quiet death of a friendship that had taken place.

Of course, I still hoped that you would reach out. One day you would extend your hand and say that you were sorry, that things were okay, that we don’t need to keep this uncomfortable distance. You would tell me that we were being immature, that life is too short, and many other cliches that we could nod in agreement on. I waited for it consciously, then without thinking of it, and eventually I wasn’t waiting at all. My life began to continue, and your peripheral existence didn’t factor in. I was happy without it, and the fact that you weren’t a part of everything was no longer a tangible hole needing to be filled.

Every day became more and more about what was good, enjoyed fully without a nagging sense of “if only I could share it with this person.” I made new friends, and strengthened ties with old ones. I no longer thought about our silence, about our depressing ending, about the fact that we’d never again stay up all night watching internet videos and drinking beer. It was simply a chapter in my life that had closed, and the ending seemed appropriate. We can’t appreciate or understand the endings of things when they’re happening, of course, but with a little distance they usually parse themselves out. We were right to go our separate ways, and I know we’re both the better for it — even if we can’t pinpoint exactly why.

So there’s no need to apologize, to come and say something, to awkwardly jump-start a conversation that goes nowhere in a matter of minutes. There’s no need to acknowledge what happened, or talk about the things we would have done differently. Our lives are filled with things we could have done better, but I know you well enough to know that just because things end on a bad note doesn’t mean all the wonderful music before was worthless. I won’t let the ugly end color my memories of you. But we are no longer the same people, and there’s no reason to force a false friendship because of some misplaced sense of nostalgia.

It’s the holidays, and we are remembering the people we left behind. But sometimes remembering is enough. You’re surrounded by your loved ones, and I with mine, and there’s no need to toast because the season tells us we should.

We’re all okay, and there are so many exciting things in front of us — let’s let that be enough.

old friends, new friends. (:

I ate TWO ice creams today!!!!





lunch at Swensons and happy feet 2 with my new dance friend, Eldon! (:





mango sago at far east! cos my favourite sour milk yoghurt store closed down ): was so sad okay






then i went for facial, and went to meet carin for shopping!


one of the BEST chocolate ice creams i've ever eaten!!!! it's actually 6 dollars for one small cup, but there's one for one promotion! (: SUPER YUMMY! at city link, near garretts popcorn store (: good things must share. (:


shopping! i think we looked at least 100 pais of shoes to find her perfect ones lol.



matching charms with carin love <3



Look at all the things she bought!!!!!!!




her perfect outfit (: she's gonna look lovely like a rose!!

when i came back home, one of the first few things i did was to open my treasure cupboard, where i keep lots of letters, diaries and meaningful things. and of course i 'updated' it, and packed in more new letters, and stuff.

did i ever mention i love iphone camera? its so convenient!



my treasure cupboard (:



i did this nice piece of art work last year. i printed out the black pic. and then i cut a small tiny red heart and pasted it in the box. and i think it's cool and meaningful. to me la.



8 diaries documenting life from 8 till now (;


my harry potter specs. i wore them in p1. haha my face used to be so small (:


harry potter cards cos i had a crush on him haha



MY BEAUTIFUL SLEEPING BEAUTY MUSICAL BOX (:
my mummy bought it for my about 10plus years ago, yet it looks real new cos i only look at it about twice a year. and it always makes me happy. it's like a treat to open it (: i hope it will last for a long time, so i can give it to my daughter















Nice pic from JC! (:



Home cooked food by mummy!!! some minced beef wrap in white cream chesse sauce! So yummy!!!



Dad brought me back pearls! <3 so pretty!!!! i love them!




lunch with shiao! (: she wouldnt let me take a photo of her! so i took my fried rice! actually i ordered noodles, but somehow they got the orders mixed up! but rice was nice too!




This is a very typical conversation between bro and I. We do our best to have a bigger ego than the other. hahaha