wow, i can't believe that i slept till 11.30 today!!!

haha, i figured that since i'd finished writing my asian context of love summary i could sleep a bit late, to be fresh to study for geog exam

ok that was just an excuse. im just lazy.


yest my partner had an exam at 8.30 pm, and we'd agreed that we'd not dance for that day so he could study.

so i was very shocked when i received a text from him asking if i wanted to prac at 4pm!!!!! hahaha, he decided that he'd studied enough and he wanted to dance.



and then later i asked him what would happen if one day we couldnt dance anymore (we as in a general we, not a partnership we)

and he gave me the blank look and said "why are you even talking about it? i can't imagine it"


hahah (:
it's nice to be around people who need to dance (:

my feet have developed a very hard layer of skin. it's quite funny. i developed a lot of blisters the first few weeks of wearing my first pair of latin shoes, but the second pair didnt cause the same problems. i think its not the shoes, haha i think my feet got tougher. (:

today the teacher modified the rumba routine, cos we've improved, and she thinks that she can make it sharper and slightly more difficult, so it'll look nicer. (: we've gotta retrain that part and redo the muscle memory, but it's always a good thing (: anyway, the harder the routine is, the happier my partner gets. his expression is really really funny. haha

and our jive got modified too, but for jive it's not cos it's good, haha, its cos our routine looks awkward. oh man. our jive is terrible!


i love dancing with my partner (:

“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.”

- Maya Angelou

"People need loving the most when they deserve it the least."

-John Harrison

that's a kind of happiness too (:

the awesomest thing about my partner is that he doesn't makes me worry that his feelings for me will go over partnership. He manages to show that he cares for me as his partner without making me worry about it getting complicated.

he's protective enough of me as a partner, without being posessive.


that day we went to studio for self prac, and we went to buy snacks together, and i guess we looked like a couple the way we hopped up together to the aunty to buy snacks, and he was teasing me about not putting mayo on my burger, and i was complaining to the aunty that he didnt allow me to eat waffles and milk tea on top of my burger. and the aunty whom we kind of know and is always very friendly, told us to have fun, because the dating stage is the most fun. haha, and it's always cool to see my partner handle such comments without insulting me and making me feel unattractive. hahah

anyway, he simply laughed and told her that we were just dance partners and we train together lots. it sounds very simple right, but there're a lot of guys who wouldnt have known what to say, and it'd just be awkward.

and the nice aunty said, 'ah, that's a kind of happiness too.'

and my partner said 'yup, it is' (:


yupyups. it is a kind of happiness. i love the innocence of it.






i hate things getting complicated, and feeling so horrible about a situation.

the one thing that is worst than getting my heart broken, is having to break someone's heart, and hearing them cry, and not being able to do anything about it.


sometimes it seems like a good idea to let the other person know how much you're hurting over them, but i personally think that's very painful for the other person.

anyway. i've never been in a relationship, but i already think that navigating BGR is very very tiring, and i honestly do no want to be anywhere near being involved in one anytime soon.

i'd like to be happily dancing with my awesome partner and doing what i like for a long time more...

):


and that's why it's said, above all, guard your heart.

cactus concert is tmr, and im really glad it's going to be over.

but just as one performance is going to be over, i've started rehearsals for another hall dance performance.

and it's hiphop/streetjazz/contemp.

i really want to cry learning it.


anyway, don't care about hiphop. im still trying to remember chacha and samba routines.

the fun thing about performing is that when you're performing, there's always somehow a unanimous consensus among the team that the performance is the most important thing in the world, and everyone works together to make the show work and make the show go on.

everyone rushes to help with make up, hair, and costumes, when a team member is quick changing, everyone will rush over to help. and it's quite nice sometimes to be sucked into this whole fantasy, where everything else stops for a while, and the stage is the only thing to think about.

that's the cool thing about performing i guess.

all the movements are muscle memory, the lighting is just blinding in your eyes, haha i dunno, naturally you just concentrate on dancing.


but i feel like recently, i've been performing a lot, every week im either at some full dress rehearsal for a concert, or performing somewhere. and the bright lights are starting to make me feel headache-ey sometimes.


im very sleepy. goodnights!

i overslept by one and a half hours today, i was almost late for rehearsals!!!!! if i do that tmr, i'll be killed! hahah

lovelove

today after lesson, my teacher came and told me that he's giving me 3 months to learn to put my weight down

and i very timidly and quietly asked, 'cut by how much?'

and i thought we were back to the same lousy reason why i quit ballet. haha

and then he started laughing and said he meant that i need to sink my weight into the floor, because i dance too lightly and floatily for latin, cos in latin you're supposed to press your weight into the floor until the floor creaks.


phew!! scared me!!
i don't like to specifically watch my weight for dancing. i mean, im not going to eat 20 mcnuggets, and 2 boxes of fries and wash it down with 2 cokes and 2 mcflurries a day before competition, but i don't really want to start calorie counting either.

haha but still, in latin, the girl gets lifted a lot, and its a lot easier on the guy if ur lighter, and also, its impt to have a flat stomach, because your partner can feel it if you have a little roll of fat. hahah, its too embarrassing. at least i think it is.


all our routines have been completed today, but there's too much polishing we need to do. sigh, there's so much technique that we still have not learnt!!!!

we registered for competition today as well. our number tag is 35!!


(:

haha, early number is actually better, cos that means you are announced earlier, and walk out to the dance floor earlier, so you can choose your space (:


my toes are disgustingly ugly btw, the nails are chipped, the skin is peeling off, they're always red and sore. hahah super ugly. but they're evidence of my hardwork okay!!

i'm proud of my ugly feet!!!

my shoes have also died, they're 6 months old, and the soles are already coming off. im very proud of them, but im going to buy a pair of new shoes tmr. haha (:

and my wardrobe has also deteriorated. since i train everyday, it makes more sense for me to wear training clothes to school, so i dont have to change so many times.

but still not gym or tarbet shirt or some school shirt okay!!! im not that bad!!! haha (:

sleepy!!! (: but i can't sleep yet, cos i just ate a whole plate of fried rice. haha, oh, it's 12.30am btw. (: dance ended at 11.30 that's why. haha

anyway, i've been such an active blogger, which means i've not been so active on facebook, and i don't diary a lot. haha.

and it's all about dance again, im just thinking things out by typing!!! (:

my rumba performance partner is very funny, he keeps sweating, and his shirt is completely wet although he doesn't smell at all. and i can't stand getting wet whenever he lifts me, hahaha, so i ordered him to bring 2 shirts. one to wear, and the other to dry, and then rotate his shirts. hahaha, and he really listened to me. oh no, i bullied him. haha, but he's really funny, and very hardworking also. i think he gets very stressed by me!!!

3 more days to cactus concert, then it'll be training training training for comp all the way!!!


we can do it!!!!!!!!! (:

my partner is very supportive. i keep asking over and over again, what style of hair he'd like me to have, what should my costume look like, what colour i should wear, should i change my shoes, should i get a new skirt, if i get a skirt, what colour it should be...
haha i think most guys would be very scared of such questions, but he's really awesome. after i designed my costume,he looked at it and gave comments, and then he said i didn't draw it proportionately, so he redrew my design for me nicer. (:


anyway the current state of our dances are:

chacha: no proper routine yet ): and chacha is my worst dance, even though its the most commonly danced dance. i am terrible at chacha ):


rumba: our best routine!!! (: rumba has long graceful lines, which we're not bad at. just gotta make our counts and turnings sharper. anyway, i designed my costume to fit the rumba flowy feel, cos i think it's our best dance, and so our best chance too!

jive: we've got a routine, but it's not been checked by the teacher yet. and i get super tired after 50 seconds, and routine is a minute half. i can't lift my legs after jive!!!

samba: its awesomely fun, i love the samba hip rolls and movements, but we've only got half a routine, and its very new to us, so we're trying!!! trying to look cool, and not like crabs!!! (: haha

paso: haha we're reusing the same routine we placed 4th for, so we haven't started training that again, i guess we'll pick it up later, closer to comp when all our other routines are up!!!

i'm having 3 semi private lessons back to back tomorrow, so im hoping tmr will be very productive, and we'll get all our routines up by tomorrow!!! (:


anyway, i met my mummy for lunch today! (: haha it was nice to sit down and chitchat with her,haven't done that in a long time (:

i finally had time to go down for a facial. haha

friends, do not ever ever ever ever go thread your whole face !!!!

threading eyebrows is okay, but maybe threading the whole face is just too harsh.
after it, i went to ask some friends, and they all said they broke out after threading their face too, how come no one ever warns against threading the face then!!!!!! ><


anyway, it was a disaster for me, and i think the harshness of the threading really badly irritated my skin, and i had a terrible breakout. haha, it was worse than I've had for a long time, i was really upset. and i couldnt even go for a facial because my package is microderm, and it's meant for maintainence, not for blemished skin.

but thank goodness, it's finally all subsiding already, and my skin is clear enough to go to the facialist. haha.

anyway, i like microdermabrasion, it's like vacuuming your face. and the skin feels soft and smooth after it. and its not painful! (:

The dance is strong magic. The dance is a spirit. It turns the body to liquid steel. It makes it vibrate like a guitar. The body can fly without wings. It can sing without voice. The dance is strong magic. The dance is life.
- Pearl Primus



Dance light, for my heart it lies under your feet, love.
- John Francis Waller



Always the question for dancers is: Can we fly?
- Jean-Christophe Mailo



Dancing is like bank robbery, it takes split-second timing.
- Twyla Tharp



When you go to dance, take heed whom you take by the hand.
- John Clarke

once again, my partner demonstrated amazing patience with me today.

i feel so bad.

it was already 11.30pm, we had finished training, and were at self prac and i was highly grouchy.
I had just learnt the cha cha routine, and i was so confused over the steps, and i was just getting very stressed, cos we have checking lesson on saturday morning. and i was just so upset with myself for not remembering the steps. ):

and i kept snapping at him, and looking annoyed, and accusing him of doing wrong steps. but oh no, he didn't get angry or grouchy back at me, he just was so patient, and tried to re teach me the steps, and go slowly.

SIGH. he's so nice. i feel so bad. i think im going to text him to apologise.

anyway, this sat, we have a crazy training schedule

9.30-10.30am: modify chacha choreo and fix the steps
10.30-11.30: learn second half of samba routine
11.30-12.30: check and clean up jive and rumba routine
12.30 onwards: self prac
6.30-7.30: rumba tech class
after 7.30pm: self prac


im getting stressed over the comp routines.
5 dances, and i have to keep switching style, and we have to train for the performance next tues too!!!


and i re quit chinese dance. i actually agreed to perform again, but i think i really cannot do it. i still have to do dance uncensored for eusoff hall. i really think i will burn out if i do chinese dance also. haha...

let's not do many things at once, let's just focus on latin, and do a bit of contemp on the side. i don't want to break something or fall sick!!!

im madly tired, with a ton of uncompleted work, but don't care la. the good thing about arts is that u can smoke your way through classes, and that's what i have to do!!!!!! hahah


and though im so tired, i shall post some pictures



paso doble performance with SMU (:



rumba performance 'satisfy my soul' for infusion mini concert


competitors! (:


pasodoble performance for welcome tea



my awesome awesome team!!!!! lovelovelovelove


ok, that doesn't justify why i didnt do my work. but at least you know i wasn't lazing around in bed watching TV and eating chips ok!! at least i was exercising!


sigh. excuses. haha

just got back from paso performance! (:

it's 1 30 am and i have church tmr!!!! ahhhh. super tired. ):

but i must go to church. i think it's not a very valid reason if i miss church cos im tired from dance. cos im quite sure that if i were tired from church, i'd still go for dance. hahah.

haha, and God is more important right?

that's not to say i don't have a giant lazy worm in me telling me to sleep in!!! sigh. i really want to sleep in till afternoon!!!!

there was one week i subconsciously switched off the alarm, and didnt wake till 8 30. and i panicked. hahah, but luckily i made it for CC anyway. haha

anyway paso performance was okay. i really dislike stage makeup. it's crazily thick, and gross, and i feel like i have no inch of skin left to put anything else. i love normal make up, just to cover basic flaws, and highlight brows and maybe some liner. but with stage make up, i can hardly see a thing. and that's a good thing. cos i look VERY SCARY. hahah.

but oh well, it's a must under harsh stage lightings ):

and i feel like my skin is dying from it. my poor skin. ): but i don't have time to go for a facial! ): i think i'm getting a lot of small bumps, and scars. it's terrible. im very upset.


and there were a lot of very pro dancers at SMU. a lot of them are competitors too, and are in the novice or pre am category, so they're real pro!!! kinda depressing. haha, but kinda inspiring too i guess.


did i talk about rumba performance yesterday? i think it was a good rumba! (:


i love rumba!!! <3 <3 <3 (:

i have a mountain of homework and research to do!!! and a very heavy dance load too!!!

oh, we learnt a jive routine today for competition!!!

so many things to remember!!!

OH NO!!!! shall sleep now so i can wake up early!!! lovelove

coming back from dance today, i feel rejuvenated (:

we learnt part of our samba routine today, and it was awesome.

awesomely fun, and awesomely difficult. hahah

but i love samba music, it makes u want to get up and move (:

and my partner is very funny, the harder the routine is, the happier he is.

we were trying out reverse turn steps, and having a lot of problems, and he was smiling very happily and saying 'this is a disaster'

hahahahaha. he loves a challenge, that's why we're trying to do 5 dances for the competition.
but it's good to have an aim, and it's good to have a hardworking partner, so im not complaining (:

# Cha-Cha – A cheeky dance that tells a "boys meet girls, girls meet boys" story.

# Samba – A dance full of colors and tropical feel.

# Rumba – The famous dance of love emphasizing togetherness and separation in a relationship.

# Paso Doble – Theatrical, dramatic, spiritual, love and hate and jealousy.

# Jive – A playful dance with a crazy feeling.


my most comfortable dance is the rumba, most practised is paso, but i think the most fun is samba! (:

i don't like chacha, and jive is very tiring. haha


anyway, let me tell u a conversation i heard which i somehow remembered cos i think it was quite sweet.

there was a bunch of guys laughing at one guy's name, cos he's from vietnam, and boys being boys, just think its very funny to mispronounce it. and they were all coming up with future funny names to call his son.

and then they said 'oh, if daughter how?'
then he paused and looked quite wistful, and said, 'oh, daughter must give a beautiful name... '

awwwww....

(:

ok i suddenly feel very stressed. haha

im so stressed that im sitting here panicking when i should start on my tutorials. haha


i just had 8 hours of dance, and im really tired, but i have 2 tutorials to prep for tmr!!!! and a ton of readings, and an essay and a geog lab report due this week!!! oh gosh!!!!

i dance maybe about 30-40 hours a week i think.

tentative dance schedule for this week

mon: samba semi private comp class + self prac after that

tues: self prac before training + regular latin training

wed: either rumba/jive/chacha semi private comp class+ self prac

thurs: paso doble item training and rehearsal at NAFA

fri: Infusion concert at 4pm, and paso doble item full dress rehearsal at NAFA

Sat: Paso Doble item for concert (full day, 2 shows)

sunday: training + self prac


and i don't even know where to fit in the other semi private lesson, cos we usually have it on saturdays, before rumba technique class, but this sat is the paso concert!!!! so we might have to squeeze in a slot on a weekday! ):



gosh, i feel tired looking at this.
my feet perpetually hurt. hahah


but we have one month to the next competition, and we only have rumba and paso routines completed, and we still need to train technique for those... there's so much to be done, and we need to improve by so so so so so much more before we can go compete, and we have to keep up with our performance team activities too, training routines for concerts and all that.

i basically don't do school work at all. sigh.

haha oh well.


im whining.
sorry. haha.

i still really like latin, but im too tired today.

anyway, i had to say that i think i have the most amazing friends in the world!!!

i have friends like jazi who's been far away in distance for a long long time, too long in fact, but never too far from my heart! whenever we meet, or talk, i don't feel the distance, and i really really love and treasure that closeness. i don't know about long distance relationships, but long distance friendships work! (: <3

and jess is always wonderfully jess, today after dinner, i was just thinking i havent talked to jess in a long time, then i realised i skyped her last week. hahaha, i miss you buddy!!! im glad ur my buddy, and that we think the same way. ok that sounds weird, but u know what i mean! <3 u

and im so glad for pathlight, cos even though the internship ended, i got to meet angelina!!! and i always look forward to JS and love actually, (even though content wise, i really like my geog mods more, they make more sense, and they interest me more actually) because i have someone to do them with,but doing project with angelina is very dangerous btw, something i informed chen fan (our js project group mate)

do you know what she said during out JS project group meeting?!?!?!? roughlyroughly ok, and i translate to english for you
angelina: so chen fan, do you have a girlfriend?
chenfan: -looking a bit shocked- oh no, don't have

then she very happily grabbed my hand and said 'ok i introduce one to you ok!'

and she repeated that during love mod. haha


and i hope DJSLX can go on a holiday in june!!! i miss them all so much!!!
lovelove

i have been eating so much good food recently (:

i had swensons with the Guis, because it's tradition!!!!!! (: <3
jap food with victor and wingyee after our semi private rumba lesson today

and after procrastinating for 2 weeks, i bribed myself and told myself that if i could finish my 1500 word geog essay in 2 and a half hours, including doing journal article research and finding all my evidence, i could go out and eat ikea's meatballs (:

im so easily bribed.

so now im still very full from 10 delicious meatballs, and minestrone soup. hahah (:

anyway, having a lot of time to think, i think humans are so strange, i can be with my partner almost everyday, for hours and hours, dancing together so closely, and officially being in a partnership with everyone knowing that we're fixed partners and teasing us sometimes (btw, the being offical fixed partners is quite important for the emotional side of it, the same way how people need to declare an official relationship status i think) , but even though i have so much fun dancing with him, i look forward to our trainings and i think he's great, both as a dancer and a person, i still only see him as my dance partner.

whereas, i can like someone who totally has no similar interests with me, hardly spends time with me and i liked him so much that when he left i spent a whole sem being sad. isn't that strange???

why is the heart so strange? haha, latin partnership dancing makes me think about the concept of love a lot eh, can draw so many parallels. you can't really help it, the music, and movements can all be described as sensual i guess.

plus the module on love actually also. 3 hours a week talking about how love is constructed. by the end of the mod, i must come up with a formula, and i shall tell u at the end of the sem. unless i get a D for the mod. haha, then maybe i have flawed thinking.

but you see, core values aside, if i try to classify the guys, they all sound the same. they're all quite nice, most relatively cute, all can communicate enough with me,so what makes one different from the other? why does the heart want what it wants? haha, if don't even know what i want, how come i can tell when i like someone. hahah, there's a subconscious checklist that i don't know about in my head!

then how come, if there's a subconscious checklist, how come jess cannot, for the life of her, ever know whether she likes someone or not???

hahah it's too confusing.

jess and i are sticking to our plans of buying a house together when we're old, furnishing it with rocking chairs, and learning to knit, and keeping 20 cats (: