it's amazing how one conversation can make me feel so disturbed, and a bit loser-ish. ):


a party girl/model head hunter was talking to me

and she asked me some questions about dance, and asked if i model, and then she asked me

where do u party?

as if its a very normal thing to do. which uh i guess it is for some ppl.


and i uh think i sounded a bit lame. ):

i said i spend all my time dancing so i dont party.

OH NO. I WAS PEER PRESSURED INTO TELLING A HALF-TRUTH ):

seeing as she parties practically everyday, i felt a bit too lame to tell her that i think the music is too loud and i need F1 earplugs in a club. ):


and i recommended her one of my friends if she's keen to look for a male model.

and she absolutely shocked me by asking me if i've done him.

i was stunned for a minute i think.



and she asked me, 'are u the decent sort, babe?'


and i seriously cringed. i didnt know how to answer without making it seem like i think other ppl are very indecent.

so uh. i settled for saying that i won't judge, but i have my own opinions on what should or shouldn't be done.



and then yea she asked if im comfy doing swimwear shoots. i dunno why she decided to try asking again since i already said no before..

and anw to cut the long story short, of course i said no. (my mum would banish me to siberia otherwise)

but out of curiosity, i asked why ppl would pay girls to take such shots, since it's not commercial or anything

and she gave me very honest answers:

some are in it for the art
others are perverts







anyway, i feel rather disturbed. it feels dark and scary.



hmm, guys should protect girls and keep them safe and warm, and give them cuddles and cookies. and not bully them or try to use them :/