The me I am now.

The me I am now is probably not a me i would i have liked a couple of years ago.

I have changed, but i am happy with that.

i feel more confident about who i am, about what i look like, the style of dress i adopt,  about how i feel about various things. i know what i want in life and from my relationships with people.

but its hard at the same time, because sometimes the people closest to me don't quite like the me i am now.

they're still hoping this is just a phase, that i would go back to being 'me'

how do i tell them that this isn't just me being deviant, this IS me?



for example, i used to only have friends who never wore make up, and thought it was lame, or being unecessarily vain. so i had to hide the fact that i wore powder and concealer throughout junior college. haha, some people might have guessed, but i always denied it cos i didn't want to be judged. lols


it is stressful hiding something like that okay.



i am still hiding secrets, the only difference being that nowadays i am more stubborn and will go ahead with things even if i meet disapproval. i would definitely have backed down or given up if it was me a few years ago.


i guess i'm just tired of giving up things that i want so that i fit the image of me that other people want.



that's why im grateful for my group of girlfriends. sometimes, someone makes a decision that the rest of us don't really think is the best choice. but we are always supportive. and even if, as we expected, that choice didn't turn out well, we are behind each other, and ready to give comfort. in a way, we allow each other to make mistakes, and we support without judging. especially when we make choices about relationships. haha
even though im sure every one of them knows that another ldr is not the smartest choice i can make, they are all fully supportive and they will ask me about how my rship has been going, so that i have a listening ear if i need it. haha

 i'm grateful that with them, i can be me.