but only love can say
try again or walk away
but i believe for you and me
the sun will shine one day

if we give enough
if we learn to trust
♥

i am blessed, and so happy (:





toast box delivery for me from my boy in the morning <3


had teppan yaki with the family <3

yummy crepe we had for dinner






taking a break from studyinggg. i actually quite lik the evolution mod, cos its all a story, and i love stories, i remember stories better than i do math. haha and its actually interesting!


handing over viva soon!
i can't wait, seriously!
but its quite scary, i feel like we're playing uno, and we're removing the entire bottom layer and hoping it doesn't collapse. hmm, we'll see

im actually late for my meeting. its 1.06 and meeting started at 1pm. but its ok, i was supposed to edit their slides and they sent it to me at 12.30pm.
of course, i got it done before 1pm, but cos im annoyed they sent it so late, i shall go late to the meeting. anyway, they'll take time to go through the edits first. haha


look, i love his side profile. i think it's quite cute. anyway, we're at some market near his place eating steamboat :D he took me there to do tcm for my leg.


kfc delivery from him for me cos i want it :D



and a furry hot bottle for my tummy when im having cramps. <3





anyway, i think im quite slow at realising things. but i finally realised that one of the things he really doesn't like is me on my phone almost all the time when we're eating together.

sounds quite silly of me not to realise it cos he will pull a long face and be grouchy at me and say he's eating alone. but it seriously didn't occur to me.

so i've tried not to text so much when we eat even though my fingers will get itchy when i can't reply messages. if he can do so many things for me, i can do a small thing like that for him

sounds like a simple thing, but it was like.. a brainwave. it suddenly occurred to me that MAYBE he's grouchy cos im ignoring him when we eat

how come im so silly sometimes when im so smart? :D

hahahah. jk (:

Amarantine

Red as scarlet
eternal as the amaranth...
step into the glade
let it take your breath away

amarantine...







You know when you give your love away
it opens your heart,
everything is new.
And you know time will always find a way
to let your heart believe it’s true.

You know love is everything you say;
a whisper, a word,
promises you give.
You feel it in the heartbeat of the day.
You know this is the way love is.

Amarantine...
Amarantine...
Amarantine...
Love is.
Love is.
Love...

another rhyme for a time when the lights are as bright as night

I did not know how I could reach him, where I could overtake him and go on hand in hand with him once more.

It is such a secret place, the land of tears...

-little prince




such a lonely place, the path of regret...

it was still very small





a bucket of memories, deep as night...


this feeling inside.




i don't know how to reach back in time

it could be euphoria






I don't know what would make it right.

it could be despair.







though this one doesn't rhyme so well, im sticking with the words, because they mean something to me...

:'(

♥ be my valentine

Vday post!!!

it was a double event for us, cos it's vday plus our first month anniversary.

and it was a realllllly sweet and amazing surprise.

so well planned and thought out, i was really touched.

we celebrated one day early cos of viva on tues

he came to meet me after school, and was really rushed. he promised we were just getting something first, we're coming back to change etc and then go for dinner.

so uh i believed him, and went out in shorts and slippers. haha

but then he cabbed us to raffles town club. and uh, i was all grumpy that i hadn't bathed etc.


and i didn't even bring my dress ):
and i wasnt wearing any jewellery.


but he brought out flowers, and a card, and earrings, and 2 dresses for me!!!

i felt like a princess. seriously.

*heart melted i think


and we went to dinner, went dancing at the social there, went to play 'spot the difference' at the arcade. hahah (:





the latin dancer cake i got for him :D


i made him a humongous card.


pretty things he got for me <3



picture at the lobby. where viva took pictures after my batch's first performance (:




i thought he looked cute with his elf ears so i took a shot. hahah, but i shouldnt laugh at his ears cos his eyes are twice the size of mine )))):


picture at the restaurant (:


close up shot. I LOVE FLOWERS <3 and i have never received 12 roses before, i kept looking at them and smelling them




Dinner at a japanese restaurant there (: i love taking photos of food.














we went for a walk all around RTC at night, so he took pictures for me (:


and gosh, at midnight, he surprised me againnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!
<3



i seriously 'awww-ed' SO MUCH at this. how cute is that. i love the message. in case u can't read it, it says 'i love you more than baby blue', who is my blue penguin, if u can't rmb (:



and on vday itself:


we had breakfast togther again (: so yummmmyyy



and then he accompanied me to centrepoint to do my IPL and go shopping


and we ate at 'everything with fries' before we went to training






okay, it was a really very nice date. superrrr nice.

<3


but just to qualify, the best part is the thought that someone would go to that extent to plan everything so well to create a perfect evening for me.

it's the first valentine's im spending with someone. and he wanted to make it special for me.

and anw, i think he looks really good in formal wear (: so handsome

Hmm. i hope i dont make my friends angry by saying this.

but there's been this thread going around on fb. and it's just the sort of thing that I feel would make non-christians feel that christians are really not very smart or rational.

but sometimes i feel christians just repost everything that's 'christian' in nature

sure, i guess it's kinda sweet in a way. but i think it's not logical. and well, we dont get into accidents everyday. but people like me wake up late everyday. then how?


Okay the thread goes like this:

Wall Photos
Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad
... ... ... ... ...
God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Okay

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

REPOST if you Believe in HIM ♥
Worth posting.



Hmmmmmm. Well...

Instead of so many life and death situations,
couldnt it just be a case

OF A BAD DAY?


and why does God need to explain Himself for u waking up late anyway.

I think it is not very biblical to think that God caused us to wake up late etc.


Many a times, we create a lot of messes ourselves, and it has nothing to do with God. lol.


well, surprise surprise, but maybe we have some will of our own u know? As my pastor put it last time, God has given us some brains and common sense, and a conscience. and we do not need to pray and ask what to eat today, what to wear today.

God lets us choose!!!

and if we woke late, it might be that we chose to sleep late the night before, our sandwich dont get made, well, we could have chosen to eat something else, but we wanted to queue for the sandwich

and God is not at fault for us waking up late, or losing our job, or getting sick, or losing someone dear

and He does not need to explain Himself

and this post seems to suggest that to be a good God, He needs a specific reason for every single thing that happens to us in our life.

ok la, i dunno if i make sense or not. but i just got rather annoyed that God is portrayed to have to explain Himself to us.

and over such little things.

I would think He'd respond by pointing out if we noticed the beautiful sunset today, or the stars He put in the sky.

I dunno. i thought God would always respond by countering a negative spirit with one of praise for things greater than ourselves and our situations.


after all, in the scheme of things and heaven, how big is an unmade sandwich or a car that won't start?

I dunno. at least thats how the God I know ministers to me when I am down and sad. He never focuses on my situation. He always takes me outside of it, and in the light of His glory, all else fades away.



so, based on how you know God personally, how do you think He'd respond to life's little gripes? haha (:



maybe the reason im so upset and disturbed is cos the God that's in the fb post doesnt sound like God i know :/

like reading about your best friend responding in a way you dont think sounds like her.



it's a confusing world. we need to really know God, and not just about God. :/

well i hope i dont have a major flaw in my thinking :/

it is 2 am now. hahah

Just let me run where I want to run

Just let me love who I want.




DP this year was really good. but it was a pretty heavy emotional theme, and i wasn't exactly prepared for such a heavy concert.

:/

i was particularly disturbed by this particular scene. there's this girl working as a social escort with extra services, and her dad just died and she is in some hotel with her client. and she dreams of her dad.

and she dreams about dancing and picking flowers with him, and he's twirling her around.

and so at the end of the dance, there're two girls in the two spotlights:

one is her in a simple pretty red dress running around in meadows, looking really innocent and fresh and hopeful that her dad will come back for her

and there's her now, in a long red dress lying in some hotel, smoking cigarettes, she's thinner, and has sharper features, she's jaded, and tired.

it's a stark contrast huh. it's a long fall from grace...





anyway. on a light silly note. i miss having long flippy hair. my hair is curled and set most of the time now, so it doesnt fly and flip haha.

flippy hair is good for dancing. it's called haireography.

:D


can't wait for cactus to be over.

and enough of my emotional nonsense.

i need to pull myself together fast if i intend to get through this sem decently.

need to study and need to find time to prac for dance.


comp and exams are all coming soon, and i don't want to be a disappointment.
no time to think of sad things or anything else.

i've wasted too much time being injured already!!!


We can do it shermsss <3

*with baby blue :D

gosh. tired.

everyone's having mid sem crisis.

everyone has tons of work undone, cca obligations that are sucking up so much time, countless proj meetings and deadlines etc. haha

in short, we're all at the time of the sem where we're starting to die!!!

its scary that im turning 21 soon.

in a couple of years. i'll be living on my own, working, maybe getting married.

it's kinda scary.

in the past when i got all confused, i'd comfort myself and brush away thoughts by saying i dont really need to care at this point of my life cos im too young.

but i'm not thatttt young anymore. still young :D but old enough to start thinking abt the future a bit more seriously.

i hope i actually figure out what i want. and make less bad decisions.

):

anw. my room is crazyyy messy. seriously the whole place is so messy, i can't even stand in front of my mirror cos there are too many bags of costumes and stuff cluttering the floor. haha

can't wait till cactus is over. its such a disaster currently, i really pray it will be decent.

and well...

dont think so much (:

and i love summerr (:

i'd almost forgetten your voice.

im so sleepy and trying to stay awake for a group discussion. so digging out photos to talk about.



love this. (: which reminds us of our commitment to purity. we want to be in love with God firsttttt then each other. <3




i call eldon 'multi talented day and night'

in the day time, during training, he's mario, my dance champion

at night, after training, he's maria my maid. he buys breakfast, does my shopping, dries my hair, pack my things, carry my bag.

so multi-talented day and night :D

this morning, i woke up at 8am for pancakes delivery service. how sweet, no? <3


me in my operating theatre gown!

just had my first op ever!!!

so exciting i tell you.

finally removed the pain in my butt, a cyst that has been giving me much grief over the past month.

it looked like a small prawn when removed btw, cos it was all bloody and stuff. i asked if i could take it home. but they wouldnt let me.

anw, the injections were super painful. but then it was quite cool that afterwards, they were cutting away at my butt and i didnt feel anything.

until the doctor poked this part that hurt and i yelped.

and he said 'oh there no anaesthetia yet hor'

i believe that i whimpered at that point in time.

anw im surprised the operating bed is so narrow. i think a big sized person would roll right off.

and i kept tapping my feet to music in the operating room, until the surgeon said i had to change position cos i keep moving, and they strapped me down ):

and there was a lot of blood!!!

they wrapped my head under blankeys, but i peeped after the operation. haha.

anw, i was well taken care of by mummy and eldon (:


i just lay on one side and got fed twister fries and koi.

everytime i talk too much and whine too much, eldon would feed me another fry to keep me quiet. lol.

and carin came to see me and she brought me cake (:

<3

okay, abrupt ending. but group meeting over, im going to sleep! its 3 am ))):