but since when have i listened to myself?

I spent money shopping again!!! But... it was fun to shop and have dinner with esther and jess!!! (: lovelove!

It wasn't nails that held Jesus to the cross, it was love.

wherever I walk, Lord, walk with me

You know why we should be thankful for this beautiful day? Because, somewhere, someone's having a sad one.

it's only been 9 days since my last blog entry! haha, wow, 9 days passes really slowly. haha, but time in general seems to pass really quickly. its half way through august already. and dreadful September looms ahead.

as a random thought: it's nice just to know that jess is still in Singapore.

Thank God for lovely people like esther, who has the amazing ability to make me feel better by just being there. and all the lovely children church kids and ministry people too (:

the two things that still really bring me joy are the kids in children's church and dance.

sometimes the co teacher will kind of scold the kids for being disruptive and asking me to let them sit in my lap and be cuddled. but really, i think that sometimes, i need the hug more than they do...

children are really wonderful... i guess i don't know how else to put it. but on days that i come really tired, or really sad, they have a way of getting into your heart just by giving you a big hug, and they make me feel like things might be alright again, and they make me feel loved. I think, they're a huge blessing to me, and sometimes being around them helps me get through another week. <3 my darlings.haha oh man,i don't even think that children's church is like a ministry to me. hahah, i think i get blessed by them more.

hahah, thinking back, i don't think i was ever such a sweet kid ah. aiyo, so sad. hahah

and well, dance is always nice. and i'm really glad to be in c dance again, for the next 4 years (: things are looking alright for me since a lot of those with c dance experience didn't join. hahahah. haha, the seniors are really nice and people are generally friendly, well,i i get a nicer vibe from c dance than from the other 2 dance groups (:

and i guess dance takes your mind off things.

we danced to this music yest.

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one would you believe me
If I ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don’t leave me
The world is catching up to you


ah. it was a nice dance. with a nice song and nice lyrics.


lovelove!

my first day at hall!

well, its alright really, cept that i brought the wrong type of moisturiser ):

esther and jess buddy came to visit me today (: it was real nice (:

lectures were alright too, quite light material, nothing heavy, and no homework. (: hahah

and i was so amused at my speech convergence patterns again today. hahah (:

actually, i have nothing much to say, just that its so boring here and so quiet too. hahaha, but i cant go and sleep when its only 10!!!

lovelove!

i got all my modules without too much of a problem, so i get to read some nice modules this sem (:

geog, sociology, english, biology and french (: doesnt sound too terrible, and doesnt sound math-y at all.

kinda want to start school proper soon, to have some kind of routine again i guess, plus its getting boring doing nothing at home. hahah

officially moving into hall on tues i think!! hopefully i won't be packing my bags and trying to sneak home by wednesday! haha

lovelove!

well, i guess im finally at NUS, and its a reality. hahah, took me long enough to realise that ah.

module bidding tmr. haha, i really dont feel excited abt NUS at ALL.
and honestly, i dont feel very excited or very happy abt my scholarship either. i feel really terrible to feel like that too, because, its so... ungrateful...

but it feels more like a burden to me than a blessing. with all the requirements they impose on me, and im afraid that i'll find geog at uni boring, haha plus they want us to do certain modules that i was so planning to skip, like GIS systems, and fieldwork. haha, and everything i do, i have to ask for approval from them, before i apply for my student exchange, if i wanna do a minor in something else, if i wanna apply to a special term...

and i have to clock up a number of modules for english on top of geog, so i cant do electives i like.


and of course, the number one fear that i'll somehow get myself kicked out because i dont make the grades or something. and it'll be so embarassing, i'll never live it down. hahah.



and i dont like my new school very much anyway. sigh.

seeing a familiar person or hearing a familiar voice is like a breath of fresh air nowadays.

as my friend said 'too many new people is killing me.' hahah



Dear Lord,

I think that i have been a little tired, and a little sad. i think i could do with a little help in getting through the next 3 years. but that's a long time away. for now, i think, i could make do with a hug. and just so You still know, I love You. goodnight.

love,
shermine

whoa i just put up so many pics on fb i amaze myself! haha, xiu should be proud of me for uploading! haha, im the first to upload this time!!! faster than xiu and jess :D hahah

anyway, children's church was sweet as always (: its a good thing i joined really, if not i might be even more sad to leave my pathlight darlings. haha

lovelove!

Goodbye love.

wah, just thinking about going back to school is very tiring already. haha, tried to familiarize myself with the mapping modules system and the bidding system today, and tried to find out what exactly I must take to graduate, the number of modules to take each sem and also must tie in with moe's requirements that i take 4 modules of english besides doing geog. hahah, i got more and more confused!!

haha, i think i finally figured that i must do abt 5 modules a semester, which is kinda like JC then, since we had 5 subjects. hahah, so not really just doing geog la, haha, still can do english, and prob some languages, or sociology or something. haha, thats pretty cool i guess but the only thing really exciting is NO MATH! forever and ever and ever!!! hahah

but really, i have nothing to look forward to the next half of the year, hahah,everything is such a disaster now, my best buddy is going far far away, things are not going well with him, im actually quite sad, awww, but as my mother told me this morning:

In every thing, give thanks to the Lord

not FOR every thing, but IN everything. haha

haha, ok, im very tired from thinking, and from reading pages and pages of small font on NUS stuff.



I shall just trust God to open and close doors as He wills, not as I want Him to.

though... its really really hard, im struggling so so much.
0:
but anyway, I still love Jesus best!


lovelove!

):

been extremely free these 3 days (: but its nice to be this free, i finally got down to watching princess and the frog! which is really cute (: haha, and watched michelle phan make up videos.

great news that MOE cut OBS to three days instead of four!!! the whole room cheered so loudly and i was so amused. hahah

but with obs, hall camp and orientation camp looming ahead, it still causes a sinking feeling in my stomach! ): and im a teensy weensy bit nervous about my new room mate... haha, doesnt feel real that im not going to have my lovely room soon. and my wardrobe is also a headache. hahah


and really, now that im so free, it leaves lots of time for horrible 'daymares' and i keep imagining life in the second half of the year and i get real miserable... ): hahah and i thought of the song 'wake me up when september ends' but then that means i don't get to send them off. haha okay i think don't want, change to 'wake me up when they all come back!!!' (: haha




): X 10000000



anyway, my dad just came back from france, and with all the pretty pictures, chocolates and stuff he bought for us, i was reinspired to read some french! so i dug up my french textbooks and started relearning my grammar and stuff. haha, i kept smiling to myself cos i remember some of those lessons when we did those particular passages, and there're all the underlined remarks where we wrote down meanings for phrases that can't be directly translated word for word. hahah, and there were pages i remember trying to memorise the entire page, like the page listing all the food, or the different clothes or something. hahah (:


oh man. im going to miss them.




lovelove
sher

haha, i finally declined my UK offers today ):

i realised that im actually still quite sad about it. i think i kinda forgot about it with all the recent new stuff to think about that already overloads my mind!! but recently they keep sending those 'pre departure' emails, and i don't think i can take it anymore if they keep sending, so i better decline already!

haha, well, i packed away all the application stuff, but still couldnt really bear to throw away the UK letters and all :p so they're all still sitting there together with my NUS stuff.

and I actually wrote kcl a short thank you email, hahaha, even though it probably just adds to clogging up their email system.

Well, I'll just have to see what plans God has in store!! (:

retreat was nice, and so was G2 youth camp, i especially liked marshalling the different games stations with diff ppl everyday, cos it was a great catch up opportunity with people i haven't talked to for a loooong while! (:

was nice to go back to pathlight yest to help make those milk carton things! haha,ended up with glue everywhere and ruined my carefully painted nails, but its okay, it was fun anyway (:

lovelove!

tmr's the last day of pathlight!!! ): i will miss my buddy at work, haha but i think i will still see her at school in future, cos as we said, we have no other friends in FASS!! ): hahah

well, time to clear out and clean out the shelves in the library workroom that currently hold my markers, and her umbrella, and seaweed crackers, stickers, and all sorts of nonsense that we've left there for ages and didnt take out. hahah, and return TC's earmuffs to the teacher.


ah. it's really over, 5 months is gone just like that! ): the best part of the year is gone!

and we gotta go back to school and oh gosh, jess buddy and i were talking abt uni stuff yest, and its just too horrible a thought!



well, i guess before the horrible school starts, i am excited for retreat!!! with jess buddy!!! haha, actually i don't know anything about this retreat, no idea who's speaking, or what the theme is or where we're really going. haha, i just know that if both jess and God are going to be there, then it's just going to be the best retreat! (:


lovelove!

oh no what am i going to do, i miss my PP kids so so so so so much already! maybe it's just the knowledge that i won't see them again that makes me so sad. I have all their voices recorded on videos, so whenever i miss them, i play the videos again and again. and when i see their cute faces and hear their cute voices, i feel like smiling and crying at the same time. haha

hahah,and i recorded so many of OO's songs that i should just help him produce an album. i'll be his number 1 fan. haha, there's this particular clip i really like where OO got distracted by my filming him, and he laughed out really really cutely and said 'let's see O sing!', with the biggest, brightest smile in the whole world. hahah, it was like all the bells in the sky ringing, just like in the little prince.

oh my, i miss them ): like josh said, haha i must be addicted to kids! hahah, and of course i'll miss the kid i work with the most! even though he didnt even want to hug me goodbye, haha but i'll still miss him so terribly much.

5 more days with the kids at pathlight ): what am i going to do, i'll miss them so so so so so so much!! ):

i can't imagine having to go back to school and be a student again, haha, and not having so much free time to meet people and learn new things and play games. hahah, i really got used to the relaxed lifestyle! hahah (:

i've been taking lots of pictures and videos of my darling kids, so that i can see their cute faces and hear their voices when i miss them... hahah..

guess there's some consolation in having to study locally, haha when i'm free i can go and see the pathlight students!!! (: haha, the downside is that i have to go for OBS and stay in uni hostel for a year as part of the MOE's requirement! ): but then, the worst thing is still that jess buddy is prob going overseas ):

it's okay! God's still cool, and always, God be praised.

hahah, for some reason i dreamt that i woke up late and missed church service tmr, and I was real sad! haha, it must have been cos I feel so cheated about retreat!!!!

aiya, now the school has cut short the internship and I actually CAN go for retreat this year!! and its the first time that jess and i can go together! ): and now if i don't even have school to take my mind off it, i'll be thinking about what they're doing at retreat!!! ):

anyway at music and movement class last week, one of my cutey pies tried in vain to open the heavy door. haha, so he stepped back, looked at me and said 'open sesame!'
hahahaha, aiyo why they so cute. haha can't take it already.


and we took some class pictures, and they really love having their picture taken! haha, when i counted 'one, two, three' they all dashed forward to see the picture taken, and i was trying too tell them 'not yet, not taken yet!' hahahah so cute, they love looking at their photos!!


lovelove!!!