Thursday, December 01, 2011

Goodbye straight hair !!!

Even though my eyes were itchy, I put on eyeliner today, cos i wanted to take some pictures of my straight hair before i undergo a perm tmr!

yes la, vain la.





sigh im really quite scared. what if i regret???



I wanted to put a purple streak. but joshua tan said i will look like an ah lian. ):






actually my hair is already quite wavy.





hmm. my eyeliner skills are not very good eh. why is one eye smaller than the other?!?!



if i don't take a picture of the ends it looks straight!

haha and i will blog about my outing with angelina buddy soon!

love!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011




i've been so hardworking, i worked the whole of yesterday right after exams and this whole day too.

i think i got a neck cramp btw.

I accomplished:

-packing all my clothes and hangers in luggages, and all my books too (NO EASY FEAT OKAY!)

after packing about half, i was so tired i fell asleep on the bed for about 15 minutes while folding clothes



- i submitted an application to global engagement summit!!!

okay, actually i dont really think i will get to go, but i'm just this super compulsive person, and if i think i wanna do it, even if i think it's probably not a good idea, i will STILL DO IT.

i have proven this nature to myself over n over n over n over againnnn.

the summit is held a week before the final exams of next sem. hahaha, and its not even in singapore.

but i just HAD to submit a proposal, else i'd be really uncomfortable, and i keep looking at the application form. hahaha. ive been looking at it for days, and thinking about it, even before exams ended.


but its such a cool conference okay!!!
they're asking for project ideas for change in society!

i love stuff to do with social entrepreneurship!!

so i submitted a a proposal titled: combating negative inner city youth culture with positive culture


the main idea is that planning organizations usually use technical tools such as law, enforcement etc to deal with negative youth gang, drug or sex culture.

but i think that's the wrong approach!! so i said that we should use positive culture as the medicine for negative culture. and of course i elaborated a lot, using ballroom culture as my example :D

okay, i wrote that all here, because i really dont think im actually going!!

besides the fact that it's super competitive and they're only accepting 15-20 international delegates, i also didn't tell my mother that i applied to a seminar held in US, a week away from exams.

hahahahha.

but i wish i couldd!!! it's like the platform for a dream job in future dealing with social change and looking at human rights issues!!

and it'd be super cool to hear what other people propose. some of them will prob get funding to actually carry out their project.


yea, but anyway. tsk me. compulsive nature. i felt very happy just to submit my proposal.

i had managed to convince myself yesterday not to bother writing and applying. but when i woke up, i wanted to do it again. then while i ate breakfast, i decided it was a waste of time to apply for something i really dont have much chance of getting. then i talked to myself and told myself that i have no exams now anyway, and it would be fun to concretise random ideas into a proposal.

So i did.




and i finished a ton of admin stuff for the dance team tooo!!!



so proud of myself :D

and looking forward to dinner with angelina! <3



forgot if i posted this before. but i loveee the colours
Im finally done!!!

I'm free as can be!! :D


ok actually not!!!

i owe a lot of admin work to dance, and my dance teacher haha.

lotsa planning, cover letters to write, emails to send, info to collate, dances to learn!!!

but thats okay, cos it's fun work!!!



and I have to pack my luggage to go home!


i'm as happy as a bee :D

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

SEVEN MORE HOURS AND IT WILL BE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!


3pm, please come now!!!!
it's amazing how one conversation can make me feel so disturbed, and a bit loser-ish. ):


a party girl/model head hunter was talking to me

and she asked me some questions about dance, and asked if i model, and then she asked me

where do u party?

as if its a very normal thing to do. which uh i guess it is for some ppl.


and i uh think i sounded a bit lame. ):

i said i spend all my time dancing so i dont party.

OH NO. I WAS PEER PRESSURED INTO TELLING A HALF-TRUTH ):

seeing as she parties practically everyday, i felt a bit too lame to tell her that i think the music is too loud and i need F1 earplugs in a club. ):


and i recommended her one of my friends if she's keen to look for a male model.

and she absolutely shocked me by asking me if i've done him.

i was stunned for a minute i think.



and she asked me, 'are u the decent sort, babe?'


and i seriously cringed. i didnt know how to answer without making it seem like i think other ppl are very indecent.

so uh. i settled for saying that i won't judge, but i have my own opinions on what should or shouldn't be done.



and then yea she asked if im comfy doing swimwear shoots. i dunno why she decided to try asking again since i already said no before..

and anw to cut the long story short, of course i said no. (my mum would banish me to siberia otherwise)

but out of curiosity, i asked why ppl would pay girls to take such shots, since it's not commercial or anything

and she gave me very honest answers:

some are in it for the art
others are perverts








anyway, i feel rather disturbed. it feels dark and scary.



hmm, guys should protect girls and keep them safe and warm, and give them cuddles and cookies. and not bully them or try to use them :/
ONE MORE PAPER TO GO!!!!!!



i am very proud of myself today. (: i wrote 22 pages in 1 hour 40 minutes (:

when i asked for a third booklet of paper, the invigilator asked me if i finished writing in the other one. haha

:D

i like exams whereby i have so much to say.

one of my chosen questions was on shopping malls and retail geography, maybe that's why i wrote so much.



so i treated myself to hot chocolate from starbucks (:

Sunday, November 27, 2011

I think Kpop is a very good phenomenon


there's so much entertainment produced by western pop culture, that some asian ones provide more realistic images for young Asian girls.

and its always nice when these asian stars dont do anything to their face or body to make it beyond asian possibility, such as super curves or overly sharp features.

haha. (:

just a thought (:

i like wondergirls, and i started listening to SNSD recently. actually its not so much of the song, i like the dances (:

and the girls are cute (: i like cute ((:



and almost all my friends are done with exams!!! but i have 2 papers more )))):


hurrrry examssss, be over!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

i love my friends!!! SO MUCH!

i am seriously blessed with a lottttt of wonderful friends.


viva girls

i had an AWESOME SHOPPING TRIP!!!!!! :D :D :D

i really love having girlfriends you know.

and they're girly like me :D

everytime we eat, we can order a few things and share, so everyone gets to try everything, which i really like!!! :D

and we always have room for dessert!

and we go shopping for hoursss!!! :D i really like that!!

and we have girl talk, and we do silly girly things together. (((:



oh and all 3 of us bought this coupon thing!! 30 favors to say i love you

and we promised that when we use each coupon we will tell each other the story!!



i love storiessss (((:



im so happyyyy :D

but im quite a terrible student, i have 2 more papers next week :/ haha

lovely captainnn

and i've been spending a lot of time with my lovely friend :D

studying together at starbucks the entire day, sleepovers, dancing etc (:

I think i've prob watched a million dance videos because of her, and i have to always tell her to STUDYY!!! hahah

and she teaches me dance techniques and i sit on her to stretch her, but she always bursts into peals of laughter and falls all over.

she's like a small elf with sunshine laughter when she's happy. :D

Bro

most awesome guy friend ever, and the only guy i actually believe will really be there for me when i need him.

we have a funny friendship really. sometimes we dont see each other or talk for like months, but when we do, its as if we last talked yesterday. the funny thing is that we often miss each other's significant high points, sometimes, we even miss birthdays.

but we're always there for each other's lowest points in life. haha, its cool. i really really highly doubt i'll have another guy friend whom im so comfy with, and yet we are really really completely platonic.


DJSLX

technology is seriously wonderfullll

and whatsapp is the best thing ever!!!

I CAN SMS JESS FOR FREE :DDDD while she is sitting in her econometrics lecture!!! how cool is that!!


and we can group chat too!!! i feel very excited whenever someone replies. haha the same way i used to check yahoo very often when our email threads were active. haha :D

and JESS IS COMING HOME SOOOOON!!!! :D

i'm going to have someone to call on the house phone!!! :D


jazi

i stalk her pretty face on fb and i stalk her writing on her blog very often.

and and she's another of those rare friends that i can't see and can't talk to for monthsss and yet we can just pick up where we left off :D

she is also my oldestttt friend, so i guess when u've been friends for 17 years, a few months of separation between meetings don't matter :p


love her <3





anyway, i have 4 very important Js in my life.


Jasmine. Jessica. Joshua. AND... JESUS :D

hahaha isn't it cool?? i was real amused at the affinity i have with Js. :D


maybe i need to find a life partner with a name starting with J as well :p hahaha jkk





and i'm going to meet up with more of my friends soon! :D

i think the gymmers might be meeting soon! (it was so lovely to bump into shinnamon at starbucks that day )

and im meeting angelina buddy!!! whose blog i have been faithfully stalking as well :D i miss her!!! everytime i see silly kids stuff or caterpillar cartoons i will think of her and charlie the caterpillar. hahaha


i might be meeting shiao, whom i haven't seen in the longest time!!!!

wicked with puppy soon!! :D im really quite excited to hear the songs live!!






I AM SO BLESSED :D


with friends like that, I don't feel scared for my exams!!!! :D



i've had a rather happy exam revision period and my exams have been going smoothly and well so farrrr. :D

Thursday, November 24, 2011

i walked home in the thunderstorm today

i was completely utterly soaked to the bone

my clothes were completely soaked through, and my hair got a wash

it was like showering

i splashed in the puddles

and i closed my eyes and lifted my face to the sky

it was awesome

i haven't played in the rain since forever.

((:


i was going home from exams, and wondering how i'd get back without an umbrella

then i figured, im going to get wet with an umbrella anyway, i might as well just not care and enjoy a slow walk in the rain.


(:



i love rainy days.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

sweet potato and me

A place within my heart
My heart within a place
A small shop in which I’ve recalled so many memories
So many memories, created in that little shop.

I love sweet potato porridge.
With tomato egg and cabbage.


It’s been a refuge as I got through the first semester of uni
Listening to silly melancholic mandarin love songs
Feeling my eyes get blurry, and my nose get fuzzy
At every thought of you being so far away

I always asked myself
Why can’t you be here?
Why can’t I be there?
Love, we're but separated by an ocean or two

It’s been here that I return to after dance lessons
After disappointments or excitements in dance
I comfort or reward myself with piping hot porridge
Defrosting myself from the cold of the long bus ride
Resting my achy muscles in the warmth of familiarity


It’s been here that I sent you those silly sweet text messages
That made you nearly drop your phone
And received the replies that made me
Smile into my sweet potato porridge

It’s been here that I bragged that I was going to have 10 dances at my wedding
And you proudly told me you were going to do the same

Well, you might still have your 10 dances, maybe...
As for me, we’ll see…

But for now
It’s sweet potato and me.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

wowww, blogger has a new posting format. so coolio now.

haha and i should prob not be blogging in the midst of exams!

but this place is practically like a dumping ground for thoughts, and im scared i'll forget!

and i shouldnt be reading abt dance stuff, but i couldnt resist of course. so here's some stuff i found on various websites!

some things about dance partnerships

1. For serious competitors, a dance partnership can be just as sensitive and personal as a minor marriage.


okay, i kinda balked when i saw this! MINOR MARRIAGE?!?!?! what on earth is a minor marriage?! GOSH!!! i hope that if i ever get married, it will be a major marriage? hahah, not just major, but singular! hahaha

2. One of the most essential traits about a good partnership is that you honestly respect and admire the way the other person dances. You must honestly like their style. You like their sex appeal, their timing, and feel in your heart, that they're very, very good. You would be amazed at how much more fun and creative you both can be when you respect and enjoy each other's dance style.

i think this is reallllly true, which might be a reason for my currently very unsuccessful stagnant partnership. i've don't enjoy his dancing anymore, and i find a lot of problems with it, and probably, he finds lots of problems with me too.
which is why we, or at least, I am unhappy.





on a side note, this totally applies to relationships.


3. The break-up of a dance partnership can be very emotional, depending on the degree ofcommitment and time invested. As stated earlier, when hopes, dreams, emotions with a significant amount of time and money are invested toward a goal, one or both partners can be heartbroken.This might be difficult for a non-dancer or a non-competitor to understand, and even confusing for the person experiencing the emotions. But the loss of a dance partnership brings about similar emotions, especially if one of the partners has already moved on to a new partner.


sigh. so i dont want to create unnecessary drama for my now happy life. but im still quite unhappy with the dancing.


its not that i think im better than him in any way... its just that i am beginning to feel that my frame is too big for him.

his waist is seriously too small, that sometimes it can't support my weight very well. which is why we always have probs with stunts.

and that's what the teacher said too.



but i shall think about this again another time. STUDYYYYY love <3




oh and if anyone is keen to read the full article, it's here!

http://www.salsastories.com/stories_c-d/competitors_only.htm

it even has a section discussing whether u should sleep with ur partner, and how to handle jealousy. LOL. talk abt intense.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

my daddy shared a nice message with me today, that he learnt from church.

He shared about what the pastor said about Joseph, and about life.

Good and bad things are gonna happen in turn, so don't be too sad when thing's don't go well, things will get better and cherish the good things, but don't build up an identity around it, because it's going to fall as well.


However, because we trust in God, we can rest assured that at the end of our lives, God will take us to a good place.

(:

i quite liked it.

it's true isn't it? (:

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I HAVE BEEN EATING LIKE MAD.



Cheese fries!!!




fried ice cream!!! <3 <3 <3 SO DELICIOUS




anyway, it's almost 3am now. i just came back from a salsa social and supper with the dancers, many of whom i've met for the first time.

and i danced salsa and open hold bachata.

and both dances i have no idea how to do, so i just followed the guy's leading. i bet i mangled many steps, but its okay.
some guys were really considerate and tried to keep their dancing at my level, and some just keep spinning me around and around until im so dizzy. i just tried my best to follow whatever steps they did.

but it was fun on the whole, although quite stressful also. i really have to just follow the guy's leading cos i really dont know any steps.


kinda cool i guess. and somehow, dancing with random strangers takes some stress off, cos its so dark, i dont think they really recognize me also. haha

im glad just to be brave enough to dance at a social for once. it's always the first dance that's scary. after that it doesn't seem so scary anymore.


although im a terrible student ):

i was supposed to go home and study, but yea.

Friday, November 18, 2011

There was a boy...
A very strange enchanted boy.
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea,
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he.

And then one day,
A magic day, he passed my way.
And while we spoke of many things,
Fools and kings,
This he said to me,
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return."

-moulin rouge


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Consider the lilies of the field


I chanced upon a secret garden, a quiet Eden
In which a steady river flows.

My heart gladdens.

I have been searching for a long time
It has been a long long time…

I wearied of searching
I resigned myself to sitting in the dust

And now
It has unlocked itself and I am startled.
It’s always been just round the corner

It is scary
Dreams up close are a little frightening.

You are not in the garden now
I know not where you are
But that’s alright
I hear your voice from all around

I am safe
Protected, within these 4 walls
There’s no one here, just the sky above and I

That’s okay.
I shall lie down and sleep for a while
And consider the lilies of the field.

I'm home.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

okay, people are starting to scare me.

i wake up in the morning (from a bad dream, may I add.

Let me talk abt my recent dreams first

i've been having plenty of really horrible tiring dreams.
in which im running like madddd cos the teachers are trying to kill me. lol i was so tired when i woke up, my heart was beating so fast. felt like i didnt sleep. haha

and yesterday i dreamt that everything was burning down, and i was trying to save baby blue my penguin. LOL. and everything was sooo smoky!!!! it was so yucks.

and i dreamt of getting attacked by crocodiles, scary fish, sharks. etc etc.

basically, lotsa dreams recently in which im in danger, so gotta keep jumping and running and i hate running. so even running in dreams is very tiring okay.


and continue...


and the first 2 ppl who talk to me didn't sleep at all the night before.

:0


why so scary!!!!!!!!


and i'm starting to get a rising lump in my throat.




but....

i will not be scared.

it is good to wait quietly for the Lord.

The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, the Lord will provide and if He does not, He is still sufficient for me.
I tried to be healthy today (:

look what i ate for dinner! (:


yummy pasta salad with zucchini and olives




and sushi!! <3




but then i got hungry and i ate a very oily but oh-so-good omelette and sausage and chocolate milk!!!! i've been craving milk, for some reason. i keep drinking soya bean milk these few days. haha



and this is actually just to practice my iphone picture taking skills (:

love!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Hearts break but they don't break even



my current favorite accessory broke ):

i haven't brought myself to throw it away yet ):


Dancing is poetry on legs.


these are my legs, they're not perfect but they're mine and i'm proud of them and i love them.

i'm always so critical of my own looks, i always find fault with something,i think it's time for some self love and time to be proud of who i am, and what I have and what i can do.

so let's start with the legs. (: i'm proud of them because without them, i can't dance, and i can't go shopping, and I can't climb stairs (although i don't like to), and i can't wear heels, and i can't see many things cos i'd be short.


plus i feel very artistic because of it. lol.

i feel very artistic recently. (:

Sunday, November 13, 2011

“I became aware that our love was doomed; love had turned into a love affair with a beginning and an end. I could name the very moment when it had begun, and one day I knew I should be able to name the final hour. When she left the house I couldn't settle to work. I would reconstruct what we had said to each other; I would fan myself into anger or remorse. And all the time I knew I was forcing the pace. I was pushing, pushing the only thing I loved out of my life. As long as I could make believe that love lasted I was happy; I think I was even good to live with, and so love did last.


But if love had to die, I wanted it to die quickly. It was as though our love were a small creature caught in a trap and bleeding to death; I had to shut my eyes and wring its neck.”

― Graham Greene, The End of the Affair

Friday, November 11, 2011

Let me tell you what this funny boy said.


Him: -.-- hahaha
haha you know i'm super desperate

Me: Why


Him: i'm like watching janet sing fix you
with my computer muted
(Janet stands for some youtube singer btw)


HAHA, he refused to let me post it on fb so i'll post it here.

why so cute!!!!!! HAHAHAH

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Amor, Pérdida, Anhelo- Love, Loss, Longing

Presenting the synopsis of the vwaltz rumba item :D


Amor, Pérdida, Anhelo

Entre lo que existe y lo que no existe,
el espacio es el amor.

De lejos te quiero mucho,
de cerca con más razón,
y si un día no te veo,
se me parte el corazón.

Entre rosas he nacido, entre espinas moriré,
pero a ti, amor mío, jamás te olvidaré.


Between that which exists and
that which does not
is the space called Love.

In the distance I love you,
close by with more reason,
and if I pass a day without seeing you,
my heart shall break.

Between roses I have been born, between thorns I will die,
but my love, I will never forget you.




we found that poem somewhere, and we came up with title and translated it all into spanish.

i think it sounds nice.


and there's many double meanings for us :/ its nice to put all of that on stage...

im really hoping and praying it'll turn out fine !!

but its getting exciting, we came up with the idea of what to do for vwaltz, and we cut and edited the songs!

we did that till 4am last night, then we fell asleep, and then woke at 12plus and continued to about 4pm. (:

haha


<3

Sunday, November 06, 2011

summer tania and i are failed camwhores.

we wanted to take pictures of our yummy food, and we actually ordered 3 rounds of food.

but each time the food came, we forgot all abt photos, and we ate and ate and ate until there was no food to be photographed, then we remember. hahaha

so, sadly, tania and i didnt get to use our cameras. haha

i love girl outings (: (: (:

with girls, you can share main courses and order SUPER A LOT of dessert. hahaha

we only ordered 2 main courses to share between us, after which we decided we were full.

but then for dessert, we ordered mexican crepes, churros and ice cream

and then we headed to NYDC for ice cream mudpies. LOL

oh and we ate salsa chips haha


full of eating, and chit chatting, and love! :D

Friday, November 04, 2011

at the close of the day

before the curtains fall
the lights fall on you

and sketch an outline of your silhouette
drawing the contours of your face
in the same places my fingers used to trace



ah. but my fingers are no longer tightly clenched
you see, my heart has set you free

Thursday, November 03, 2011

la dolce vita (:

milestone of my life: I AM BEING ALLOWED TO SHOP ONLINE!!!!!


haha. its a good and bad thing really.

but my mum has finally allowed me.. -after much apprehension and discussion of course- to have a paypal account.

hahaha, of course i still need to report everything i wanna buy before i actually buy it. but YES!!! (:


and i already bought 2 skirts. haha. that's why its a bad thing.



but yayyyyyy :D :D :D

and on sunday, i went to visit my little darlings at children's church (((: i missed them and their super tight hugs (:

fun things are coming up !!! (:


- NRA concert tmr, which i thought i wouldnt be going for, but guess i am! haha
- meeting to plan for dec trainings with michelle tmr before the concert (i consider dance meetings fun actually haha)
- planning for our dance camp! (:
- facial and lunch with mummy tmr
- girl's lunch date with summer n tania on sunday <3
- poland's national day reception n concert
- family dinner to celebrate my parent's anniversary (((:

studying seems to have lost its place in my life! hahah, oh no, im a terrible student!


i did something dumb this week btw. i went for lecture, and sat there with a handful of other blur souls for abt 10 minutes before we realised there's no lecture cos the lecturer is in UK.

so the next day, i didnt go to tutorial, thinking there wasnt tutorial since he's in UK ): turns out the Teaching assistant conducted tutorial instead. SIGH.

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

i am waiting
for what I do not yet know
waiting for more stories to unfold
for more springs and summers perhaps

but whilst i am waiting
quietly in the silence
i watch and listen and learn

the wind is an old friend
it gently curls around my ear
and envelops me fiercely in turn


and the falling autumn leaves
they are beautiful

so pretty
its a pity

they're for goodbyes.

Monday, October 31, 2011

i love starbucks. (:

i am now a proud starbucks card holder hahaha, my card is super pretty pale blue with snowmen on it (:

but i don't really like coffee, i have been drinking peppermint mocha, with half shots of expresso (: i can handle a bit of coffee but too much will make me sick.

i think im buying into the starbucks ideals and lifestyle, rather than the drink only.

i love how warm it feels, and the taste of peppermint is like christmas, and they have nice christmassy music, and the aroma of warm coffee makes me think of christmas. (:

it makes me think of traditional frosted christmas windows, and warmth, and at the same time, it makes me think of global cosmopolitan lifestyles. and i like both (:

so i really like starbucks.

and i love christmas. i am so excited for christmas (:

Sunday, October 30, 2011

done with the performances for the sem i think (:

viva was awesome yesterday (:

carin, summer and i were like mother hens preparing our 15 girls for a beauty pagaent. haha, we were curling hair, doing make up, pasting false eyelashes for them.

then when it was all done, carin made them line up against a wall for inspection. hahahaha, QC them, and make sure all their straps and hair pieces were all fastened securely. (:

then it was the senior's turn to hurry rush and make up and change in 10-15 minutes, and of course, we were ready on time (:

and the floor was awesome yesterday, and the atmosphere was great (:
i remembered why i love performing (:

the stunts for telephone all turned out well. (:


and then we all ate SO MUCH food, we had roast beef, salmon sashimi, pan fried fish, and super a lot of cake, soups, pastas, and high class food from the buffet line. haha, so fun (:

the juniors were so happily taking photos, it was awesome, i felt good abt viva for the first time in a long time (:

everyone looked beautiful, and everything was glamorous, and the dancing was decent, the atmosphere was happy. i felt happy n proud standing with the rest of the seniors looking after the team.

and cos it was late, carin came to stay with me again, and we played rumba and waltzes the whole night choosing perfect music for the cactus performance





we're having surprise pizza for them on tuesdayyy (:

it feels like all the bad stuff abt the team has settled, and we're headed in the right direction, and everything is lovely at least for now.

i dunno how long it will last till there's some form of conflict. but i'm going to enjoy basking in the wonderful glow of being in a wonderful team like viva and enjoy the privilege of co-heading this team together with the rest of the seniors.


viva will probably be the only thing i truly remember abt NUS after i graduate, and it has taught me so many things and given me so many experiences to go places and do things i never thought i'd have the chance to.


in viva, i feel less of a student. i feel like an artiste and a dancer.
and im grateful for the chances i've gotten in viva (:

they won't ever see this i think, but i also really love all the friends i've made there (: every single one (:

Friday, October 28, 2011

This blog has been so serious and nostalgic for a while.

Let's have something fun (((:


I'm curling my hair for lions club performance haha

and i was trying to figure out how to be able to see what i'm curling, then genius me decided to use webcam to see what im curling (:


so of course, since i'm curling in front of a camera, i should take some photos (:

i love having curly hair.

but too bad i dont know how to use photoshop to do some make up or to smudge out flaws. lol. and i was too lazy to put on makeup just to take nonsense photos haha






relatively straight hair still






for halloween (:


ALL DONE (:



yay! curly hair, like curly fries and curly noodles. yum yum yum (:

i love viva. i do.



Jungle showdance (: which sadly still has no name. hahaha

i love viva <3


and all the people in the photo. and some who aren't in the photo too.

we've come such a very long way... through arguments, and change of casting like 3-4 times. this is the final cast, after cutting out another 2 couples, and changing here and there.

and the shopping and sewing of costumes, and rehearsals. all the laughter, the snappy words, the tears, the injuries. 1 missed competition. the lame but very scary scary arguments over shaving for the guys. hahah


sigh. it's all over.

it's been about 5-6 months since we've been training for this, so it also happens to coincides with a significant period for me.


and everything is over. haha, we're not who we were when we took our first step into this routine.



we've finished gracefully.
we've made our bow.
we've made our exit.


and life goes on.

random things to do

Go to a movie alone.
so cool (: i've always wanted to do that

Live alone
kinda already am (:

Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon.
no running for me, dancing counted?

Go to a scary doctor's appointment by yourself
been going..

Fly to a foreign country by yourself.
ok, this one is not so possible anytime soon haha

Witness something once-in-a-lifetime
or even just a pretty rainbow

Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous.
hmm. i can't remember the last time i felt nervous. excited and tingly maybe, not nervous i think.

Go out with an older man who takes you somewhere nice and makes you feel like a million bucks.

Go out with a guy who makes you laugh ‘til it hurts.

Invest in a LBD (little black dress) and some sexy stilettos.
i have both, but i'm looking for shades (:


Sit at a bar by yourself and drink a martini. Cool.

i really wanna do this! maybe on my next birthday eve (:

Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing.
aiyo. i always buy frivolous things that i love wearing

Host a girls-only night.
I LOVE GIRL'S NIGHT OUTS (: (: (:
been alternating between singing and dancing (:

if u love the arts, life's good (:

weather's been perfect recently, always raining when im in and stops raining when i need to go out (: so weather's always cool, and nice for snuggling under the blankey (:

and i love the smell of rain (:


been meeting friends and catching up, and i've also recently fallen in love with starbucks (:


and today, i bought mr bean, and a triple hashbrown, chicken plus cheese naan (: <3 <3 <3

life is pretty good round here (:


except that i have exams. haha, dec will be awesome (: i can almost smell Christmas round the corner (: i'm already making my christmas card list (: and starting to plan what i'm going to do for christmas ((((:





im very excited (: but then again, it doesn't take me much to get excited (:

Thursday, October 27, 2011

i found out today...

can't say i wasn't disappointed.

but surprisingly, im not sad. it was even kinda expected.

i've learnt not to expect from you anymore.

i sighed again today, not cos i missed you, or wanted you, but cos i realised. im gonna be alright without you.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

done.




look, my family made this for me (: how sweet (:

Comp

finally i'm done with comp.


i guess i don't thrive on loud music. i'm needing some soft music to unwind from the heavy latin beats the whole day, and recovering from my headache. haha, probably caused by wearing false eyelashes.

can't say it was a great comp, but it wasn't totally horrible i guess.

somehow i really felt like crying when my teacher, alice hugged me very tight. ): i really miss ana already...




partnership

partner n i have a real strange r/ship i think. sometimes i can't stand him and i really wanna stop dancing with him, and i don't even wanna talk to him much except when we have to talk abt dance stuff, and i won't really talk throughout training.

and then sometimes, i feel really fond of him, as a partner only though, and am happy dancing together. sigh.


have been so tired i've seriously considered breaking the partnership and taking a break from latin for a while. cos we seemed to be stuck in a rut and aren't improving much.

but i can't decide whether it's just a phase that i can get through, or cos i can't improve enough, or whether its cos i can't appreciate his dancing sometimes etc.

but oh well. we got through this comp, somehow.

and i think the next comp will have novice B cha and rumba, so at least i have something to look forward to. (:

holding on

partnerships really require work to maintain :/

deciding to stick with the partnership, at least for now, is probably largely due to my trying to learn not to quit so easily.


prob the things that are most worth it in life are earned through really hard work and perseverance.

plus im so impulsive and rash that its prob not so good for me. i should learn to be more patient and think first before i start talking nonsense.

i've been thinking through a lot of my past behaviour on my lovely lonely quiet bus rides home from AnA every week. and i've learn lessons that i'm glad im learning at 20 after a breakup rather than at 50 after a divorce.


i'm ok


so many people have been asking me if im ok and commenting that i look really tired and sad that i suspect that stories they hear might not be very representative of truths.

but it did get me thinking. so am i ok?

yea, i think i am.




i'm only growing stronger all the time, and i've grown my strongest yet.

i've grown to learn that romantic love is but a fraction of love.
love is just about wanting the best for someone else, and that love doesn't need to be lost. just keep loving without getting attached to a particular outcome of having to be 'together' and you'll never have to 'get over someone'


am i tired?
yea i am.


am i sad?

yea i am


but am i ok?

yea i am.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

one day more... tomorrow you'll be worlds away, another day, another destiny.

tmr is finally competition. seriously, i can't wait for tmr at this hour, where i can scrub off all the makeup and gel and curl up into my bed.

my ankles hurt, my toes are constantly stomped on. haha every prac someone steps on them, my shoes aren't helping cos they're so loose my toes always slide out. haha and i've got tons of bruises and achy musclessss ))):

after tmr, i can concentrate on rushing out the presentations and essays and projects i need to do urgently! haha

ONE DAY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


can u sense my anticipation for tmr????




One more day before the storm
Tomorrow you'll be worlds away
Tomorrow we'll be far away

Tomorrow we'll discover
What our God in Heaven has in store
One more dawn
One more day
One day more!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

carin is coming to sleep over tonight with me cos she has assignment due tmrrr (:

it's quite exciting (: i've never had a girl friend come and sleep over before at halll (:

and i woke up bright and early to clean up my place. haha, its really terribly messy, and i havent bothered to clean it up for such a real long time.. too comfy. haha

but yea, my room is nice and neat now, everything is in place, costumes stacked neatly, makeup packed away, and all my shoes have gone back into their bags. my room sounds more like a backstage dressing room than a room for a student right? haha



i'm finishing up soon.. one more cha/jive lesson today to clean up.. one more practice for lions club and showdance tmr, comp on wednesday, last choir concert on fri, lions on sat. and then i think i'm kinda done with performances for the sem. haha








Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being “in love” which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.

- Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres

Saturday, October 22, 2011

why don't we go, somewhere only we know

maybe because I study geog and am constantly thinking about spatialities, places and spaces and their meanings always stand out to me.

For all my non geographer readers, let me introduce 2 concepts to u

1. Iconic spaces

this is quite self explanatory right? something eventful happened, something that happens once in a life time/long time. something extra significant happens or that the place in itself is majestic to behold


2. Fields of care


ordinary mundane places that are nurtured to symbolism through everyday day living, places we pass through everyday, places we spend time together all the time.. etc


maybe that's what i should do my honors thesis on, relationships in the context of spaces and places. i think it'd be kinda cool.

relationships take place in spaces and places, and if they're symbolic in either way that something special happened there, or if it's close to your heart in the way that much of your relationship was nurtured there... it doesn't really get forgotten


that's why we can walk by places and think to ourselves about the history that happened there, even if it was years and years ago.

sometimes when walking with friends, they'd suddenly point out, hmm, i had my first date with my gf here. or we celebrated our first anniversary here. or, yea, my ex used to live there, so i know the area pretty well.


our concepts of the place and space can sometimes affect our mobilities as well. if we're hurting, we might choose to purposely avoid such emotion-laden places, or we might gravitate towards it, to reminisce. so it's not the place itself, but the place has been reproduced with meaning.

ok that sounded very academic, i should save this post so i remember my inspiration for my honors thesis. haha, i really think it might be a topic that could be done! (:



and i learnt this word form linh's blog, and since she hasnt updated it in ages, its still at the top of the page. haha

Smultronstalle
: Swedish word, meaning a private and personal place, a place of your own.


i think it's a nice word. i'm glad we had a Smultronstalle. i'm glad we parted from the same place we started.

of faces i've loved








Each time I have to leave someone
I look back on all the faces I’ve loved

And it’s hard to think that someday
When my heart has healed again
He’ll be just another
Another face I’ve loved

For when the fire has cooled
And the flames have truly died
All that’s left in the ashes
Are the bits and pieces
Of faces I’ve loved
And places we’ve loved

Friday, October 21, 2011

i'm dreaming again...

i was hoping for a nice warm shower after training, but the heater wasn't working, so i was freezing. its at times like this im glad im in singapore.

and for the whole of the year, i really have no idea what i've been chasing, but i'm tired.
at least i noticed a trend, when i'm doing well and all, i hardly stop to write, in my diary, here, or even to spend a lot of alone time thinking to myself. it just all happens in one whirl of a fast paced dance and the music just sweeps you along, and on and on and on we go... till the music suddenly dies out, and everyone around fades out...


actually, i really like the feeling sometimes.. of being by myself and taking lots of time off to think and dream, and have a period of solitude.

when i say solitude, i don't really mean shutting people out or being an anti-social of course. it's just that in the very innermost circle of my social life, there's just me, and God. and i dont really have people that i don't 'schedule' in.

for example, i schedule in meetings, trainings, appointments, meet ups with friends, chit chats. and when i'm done with all that, i can retreat into my own place, my own world, and its nice sometimes not to have anyone whom i have to/ want to be with when i'm doing nothing. when im doing nothing, im really just doing nothing now (:

it's really nice actually. i know i prob sound a bit strange, but yea, some me time is very good for my soul i think.

and yea, when u don't have someone or people you automatically go to when ur free, u really realise that a lot of chance chit chats or chance encounters are very rewarding. and full of love.


i can't even count the number of wonderful conversations i've had with friends recently, they're wonderfully rich, and flavorful, just like hot liquid chocolate (:

like i had a wonderful conversation with a friend today, who happens to be a christian, while we shared a hot chocolate, and it was wonderfully wholesome, and rich and alive, and it was like the hot chocolate went into my heart and soul too, and i felt warm and safe.


i really don't know how to explain this, but i feel that this is a season of solitude which is very good for me. my soul has been too hurried, troubled and tired out over the year... to the point that i've created trouble for myself. haha




i want to lie under clear blue skies and watch the clouds roll by

i want to sleep under warm sunshine

i want to make vanilla crepes that smell of wholesome butter and milk

i want to pat a small furry animal

i want to smell a rose

i want to read a poem

i want to curl up in bed on a cold day, with a hot chocolate and marshmallows, and read a classic novel

i wanna eat a pie and drink tea






don't these things sound so quaint, familiar and whimsical?

what have I been doing all year? striving to be a better dancer, giving myself grief over my skin, getting worried and anxious and upset at people around me.


i realised.

i have not been at rest the whole year.

now i finally feel at rest, at though i've been a little bird, desperately flying through a crazy wind, and my wings have been beaten sore, my feathers ruffled, and i've finally fluttered down to the ground, and landed in a soft patch of moss, and i'm tucking my head under one wing, and resting.






and naturally, in times of solitude and quiet, and classical music playing, i tend to be pensive. not necessarily a deep sorrow, but a more surface feeling i guess, thinking over life in general and all the dreams that i'd put aside when i tried to be realistic.

its nice to dream again. (: dream of snow covered forests, and log houses with a warm hearth, dreaming of golden wheat fields, and rolling hills, green pastures, a quiet lake...

dreaming of things larger than myself, and my surroundings...





but best of all, i've realised...




well... i have three more dance performances/competition lined up.. and then i told partner i'm gonna take a break for a while...

and im cancelling one whole month of viva training as well (; haha, sometimes having some power is not a bad thing (;

and i'm gonna rest... i'm gonna take myself to a calm place, where i don't have to rush around doing things and meeting deadlines. and i'm going to meet people i love, some of them are coming home from overseas soon and i'm happy to meet them soon (:


i'm going to take long meals, and long walks, long sleeps, and i'm going to spend days reading, perhaps writing if i feel like it, i'm going to watch cartoons and old movies, and i'm going to spend time with my family. one good thing that came out of this is that my family is currently relatively united and there is an outpouring of love to each other. haha, its nice and sweet.
we're gonna set up the christmas tree and lights, and create the warm glow that comes from within.


i'm on my way back to the start to find myself again (:

Thursday, October 20, 2011

today i cut out about 60 printed pages of our conversations out of my diary.

well, for a practical reason that it was making my diary so fat i can't write in it.

and because it represents a heap of broken promises made by both of us, and when promises are broken, it makes no sense to reminisce about the promises we made.

because they mean nothing anymore. looking at them is but a feeble attempt to grasp at something intangible, a vain catching of the wind and it swirls up and away from us...

and it makes no sense too to ask why do we make promises we can't keep. it's like asking why water sometimes drown us, and why fire burns us up. we're human.


my diary is now cut right down the middle, with jagged edges, left over glue, and it isn't pretty and perfect anymore.

but that's life, and its all the jagged edges that makes it all the more beautiful...




forever. always. perfect love. first and last. till the end.


these are words that should not exist in our vocabulary.

we are but a mist, a thin vapor in the wind... yet we make lofty promises...
My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room...





It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,we're slow dancing in a burning room

Wednesday, October 19, 2011



On and on
Does anybody know what we are looking for?

Another hero - another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.

Inside my heart is breaking,
My make up may be flaking,
But my smile still stays on

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance.
Another heartache - another failed romance.

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,
Fairy tales of yesterday, will grow but never die

The Show must go on.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Day to day troubles are no match for the power of the Lord

Do not look forward to what may happen
tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares
for you today will take care of you tomorrow and
every day.
Either He will shield you from suffering,
or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace, then.
Put aside all anxious thoughts and
imaginations, and say continually: "The Lord is my
strength and my shield.
My heart has trusted in Him
and I am helped. He is not only with me but in me,
and I in Him.

Amen.

Friday, October 14, 2011

i am very angry with spammers! every week i have to delete like 20 spam messages!! they are flooding the place like ants!!!


anyway, today i went for an experiment at engine, i was quite annoyed by the researcher, who never replied my emails to confirm the slot, i went down anyway, and he was late ): and poor me sat outside not knowing whether he's late or not coming at all cos he didnt reply me ):

and then throughout the experiment, he kept tsk-ing that my eyes are not focused enough, and i am not staring hard at the screen to give him the result he wants. tsk. experiment is experiment what, no fixed results ): and he didn't give me my money today, he's making me go again tmr to redo some of the images.

gosh, i stare until my contact lens wanna drop out already.

i wanted to tell him, girls got peripheral vision la, plus i have shopperholic eyes, i can scan around quickly, not fix my eyes on one thing and stare it for so long. ):


hahaha.


and then i lugged 2 huge heavy bags of clothes to school cos i thought it was phototaking day cos my geog of fashion proj, but turns out it is tmr ): so i lugged everything back again. ):



so in conclusion, it was not a very good day at all. and i wanted to buy strawberry banana but i was too full and my hands were too tired to carry.


im super whiny today.


and i think im going to die at the competition in 2 weeks time, cos i can't even remember my routines yet. ):


ok one exciting thing is that partner and i are going for contemp auditions (: (: (:
selected dancers get a contract for technical trainings. (:


but on the whole, i am a veyr grumpy cookie. dont come near me or i will bite you.





or like this. haha i picked up a huge bundle of hair that i apparently dropped :/ im balding!!!!!!! help!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Boy and The Caterpillar

Once, a long time ago, when men built with their hands and women cooked with fire, there lived a boy in a small village far away from here. He was a happy boy, his heart was pure and his mind was innocent. All he truly longed for was someone to love.

As he grew older, he changed from a comely child to a handsome man. He had spoken to many girls, and many more had shown interest in him. However, deep inside their hearts he saw a coldness. The kind of mild coldness that would make a girl smash a bug because she found it ugly, or hate another girl simply because she was prettier than her. He felt no contempt for them…but he knew in his heart that he could never be with someone who was capable of vanity, envy, or hatred. For this reason, he began to become hopeless for ever finding a girl he would love.

Then, one day, as he wandered through the forest, he heard a beautiful voice calling to him, "Hello there, boy. What is your name?"

The Beauty of the voice immediately piqued his interest, and he began to search for its owner, but he could not find her anywhere.

The voice laughed and said, "What you look for is too large. I am smaller than any girl you would normally see. I am on the tree to the left of you."

He turned toward the left and slowly walked toward the tree, but found no girl…normal sized or smaller. All he saw, sitting on the branch of the tree, was a small caterpillar.

He was just about to continue looking when he heard the voice again, and this time there was no mistaking: the caterpillar was speaking to him, "Yes, I am the voice you heard. Though I am small, and though I may not seem beautiful, I was once a more beautiful girl than any you have seen before. However, a witch, envious of my beauty, turned me into a caterpillar so that she may never be forced to look at me as I was again."

He swallowed before he spoke, for he felt somewhat awkward speaking to a caterpillar, "That story is a tragedy milady, but what can I do to help you? I am a mere village boy."

The caterpillar sighed, "I have given up the curse being broken…all I desire now is a friend. For, since I have been transformed, all the friends I have had have abandoned me."

The boy was happy to grant her request, and held out of arm for her. She climbed it and rested on his shoulder.

Time passed, and he spoke to many other girls. But he found that he grew less and less interested in them. Instead, he began to speak more and more to the caterpillar that rested on his shoulder. He found that, unlike the girls that he knew he could never be with, the soul inside of this caterpillar was pure and beautiful. They spoke every day, and their friendship grew. Eventually, he began to realize that he was falling in love with her. For a time, he hid his feelings, until one day he could take it no longer:

"Caterpillar," he said, "I think I'm falling in love with you."

Her response was immediate, "Boy, I have loved you since I first met you, since I first saw how pure your heart was. But I thought that you would never love a creature as low as me, a mere caterpillar."

He smiled and said, "I care not whether you are woman, or caterpillar, whether you are beautiful or plain, whether you are intelligent or dumb. I see only the beauty in your heart, and that is all I desire."

And for the first time, they both wished she were a woman. They wished it so that he could embrace her, so that he could hold her and kiss her face. But she was merely a caterpillar, and all she could give him was a simple, loving sigh.

After that, they were happy. They often wished for things, a kiss, a hug, a physical expression of their love. They were happy, but they longed to hold each other. And as the days passed, as their love only grew deeper. It changed from a want into a need. And it frustrated them every day. Yet still, the boy would not leave the caterpillar, for he loved her soul.

Eventually, the caterpillar told him, "Boy, as a caterpillar, I have reached a point in my life where I must build a cocoon for myself, and transform."

The boy asked quietly, "Will you transform into a butterfly?"

The caterpillar answered uncertainly, "I am not sure. Normal caterpillars change into butterflies, but I am anything but normal. I may change into something else."
The boy thought, then hopefully asked, "Will you become a human?"

"I hope so," the caterpillar said, "So that you may hold me, and never let go."
So, the caterpillar left the boy's shoulder and built a cocoon for itself in the forest, encasing itself within it. And every day, the boy would journey into the woods and wait by the cocoon, hoping to be there when his love returned. Months passed, and the cocoon grew larger, and larger. And as it grew larger the seed of hope in the boy's heart also began to grow. Soon, it was the size of a man. And at that point, he became almost certain that what emerged would be a girl with the soul he had come to love inside of her. A girl he could hold and kiss and love forever.
And one day, after months and months of waiting, the cocoon finally broke open. What the boy saw was more than he had ever hoped for.

He saw neither butterfly, nor woman, but an angel standing before him. Light emanated off of her. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And he knew, just from looking in her eyes, that she was the same caterpillar that he had loved.
But when he tried to embrace her, she stopped him.

"Why do you hold me back?" he asked, "I merely wish to hold you, like we talked about, like we dreamed of."

She shook her head, "I am sorry, boy, but I am no longer a caterpillar. I am now an angel. And as an angel, I can be with you no longer. For you, as a human, are simply too far beneath me."

Shocked, he argued, "But…that's not fair. That's not right. I loved you when you were a mere caterpillar. I loved you when you were nothing more than a fleshy bug on my shoulder!"

She smiled gently as she stroked his cheek, "And I wish I could do the same. I wish I could love you even though you are nothing but a caterpillar to me, but alas, I cannot."

And he watched as she flew away, on her beautiful golden wings. And stood there, watching, even when she left his sight, his arm reached out as if trying to touch her. He stood there for days, watching, wishing, incapable of anger, incapable of anything but love for her. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. And weeds grew around him, dirt gathered on him, and shrubs grew off of him. Soon, he became fossilized in the soil. A statue created by nature.

They say that it is possible, if you wander in the forest long enough, to see him now. And that if you do see him, he will speak to you. But it is not you he will be speaking to, it is the angel that has long since left him. And what he will say will not be in our words, but in the old language, more loving and sad than ours would have ever allowed. And understanding what he says is impossible, but in his voice you can hear his longing, his sorrow, and his endless, eternal love.

Saturday, October 08, 2011





Like a little wind-up ballerina that not just has rusted coils, stiff joints,but also flaking paint, worn and chipped, an aged and broken face painted white and colored.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Behind every sincere 'how've you been?' is a little of 'i've missed u..'

many pretty english rose whimsical pictures (:





Wednesday, September 28, 2011

"We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers.
They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening.
Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them;
nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine
and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true "

-Woodrow Wilson

Friday, September 16, 2011

pre recess week shopping !!!

ive had an awesome pre recess week break! (: (: (:

after handing in 3 assignments on Thursday night, i took thursday night and the whole of friday to really relax and just have fun! (: i tried not to feel guilty for relaxing so much when i got a lot more work to do! 4 projects and 2 midterms coming up ): plus no time to prac for dance. but anyway, relax first (:


so on thursday, i went out to clementi mall, and shopped!!! (: (: (: i bought a pair of white pants and white heels

and on friday, i had to go to musee for IPL, then i did a facial and then i went to shop at 313! (: i bought a leopard printed tank at forever21. and i went to search for the elusive H&M. and i found it eventually, further down from 313, but i didnt like the clothes that much ): its all very structured clothes, very neat and proper, with great tailoring, but i guess i dont like those kind of clothes that much to brave the queues for dressing rooms and to pay.

plus why would i spend so much time queuing when all the nearby clothing outlets are offering sales, prob cos they're trying to rival H&M.

haha, new look is offering $2 for second piece btw. so it's almost like buy 1 get 1 free.

then after shopping, shaun came and met me for dinner! and we went to look at mustafa, cos i wanted to check out the price of daisy edt by marc jacobs and i heard mustafa offers cheaper prices for perfumes.
OH body shop discontinued aqua lily ): ): ):

anw, he's not made for shopping, and he died within a measly 2 hours. i'd been out for 8 hours alreadyy!!!!

that concluded my great 2 days! (:


tutoring job


i took up a weekly tutoring job for special needs kindergarten kids, i do 3 hours a week, 1 hour per kid.

and i think its pretty nice, cos i get to work 1 on 1 or at most with 2 kids, and its the same kid every week, so i get to chart his progress (:

and one of the kids im tutoring is applying for pathlight! so im supposed to chart his assessment to submit to pathlight next time.! thats quite a scary thing for me, but at the same time,exciting! i hope he gets in ! (: (:

and my kids have very pretty eyelashes! perfectly curled and long okayy. i want them too ):

Sunday, September 11, 2011

"Single" and "In a relationship" are just terms. Your heart determines your status.

then if my heart changes its mind everyday, how?



i think i need a pet. so many disagreeable ppl around me. including myself. i think im very disagreeable recently also.


but its okay, even though i think im so weird, of course i have weird friends around me too (: like jess! hahaa. unfortunately for her and I, we are both weird.


this is the future for us: kittens and knitting.


I really want to go overseas now, then i won't have to think abt all the things i need to settle here. ):
and i can restart my dance and work and everything else.

im so incoherent, but its okay, im real stressed ): ive got 2 essays to hand in this week which account for a total of 40% ):

and i feel very tired. I shall eat jam biscuits to cheer up (:

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Grace is not cheap. When we are shown grace someone else has to pay for us.

Dear God, help me stay as a thick toast. burnt on the outside, but always soft on the inside.

it's hard. its really hard.

Monday, August 15, 2011

almost every other day, i receive emails from dying people across the world, who are secret millionaires and wanna transfer money to my account so that i will help poor people on their behalf. It's really quite funny. today i received a different variation!!
i received an email from an african princess who's seeking refuge in some other country, and so needs to transfer money out of her country, and i forgot what the rest was about, trying to explain how much i can gain by helping her transfer money.

Haha, people are getting creative.

If I had my own version, here goes:


Dear friend,

With tears of sorrow, I have to confess to you that I am a talking chicken. It may come as a shock to you, but there has always existed a select group of poultry that has the ability to communicate. We have always lived peaceably in a small island, Nekcihc, in a remote part of the world. Unfortunately, globalisation has taken over the world, and our lovely island is about to be invaded! My friends and I are in grave danger of being eaten and we thus beseech you to help us!

It may be a surprise to you, but through the long years of our existence, we have built up a huge amount of poultry reserve funds, that is to say, corn and wheat. After screening many online personals, we have decided to trust that you will not stand for cruelty to animals, and that you can help us! If you will, please reply to this email with you name, bank account no. and contact information. If you can safely help us get out of Nekcihc, we promise you an unlimited supply of corn and wheat for the rest of your life.

We are awaiting your reply desperately. Please help us!

Regards,
CluckCluck
Village Headman of Nekcihc




hahaha, im sure my offer of an unlimited supply of corn and wheat will attract many ! and i can't believe i actually typed that out. i was that amused with the princess story.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

one of the biggest pains of being in arts is probably the readings. Not the actual reading itself, but the SEARCHING for the dumb readings. seriously, by the time i hunt down what im supposed to read, then go and find where the book, journal or website it, i'd easily spend a few hours, or even days if im searching for some red spot book.

gosh!

i love those profs who tell you exactly what to read and then upload some of the readings on IVLE so we can just download and read.

The worst are those who don't suggest anything, but give you some journal subscription titles and tell you to search for relevant articles everyweek.


anyway, im very excited that im gonna take a fun module whereby we just have to sing in the choir and do concerts. it sounds very fun, and i like singing in the choir, and i like concerts. (:

been back in hall for about a week? getting used to living by myself again. haha

met DJSX for our junction 8 picnic. haha, we are going to plan a trip to europe! how exciting (: (: (:

and dance is so busy!!!!

Tuesday, August 09, 2011


moving back to hall soon!
so lazy to pack, i ended up only packing half my clothes back to hall. I decided im not that hardworking to dress up in school, so i shouldnt lug all those clothes back. haha

went on a giant pizza outing with DJSX! (: Linh didn't come, but we managed to finish a 21 inch pizza. its really big!!






i think i've been eating a lot recently. i even ate nacho chips twice. it was so yummy but now im sick of it, so i wont be eating it for a long time. hahah


and gosh, dance has so many problems!! and im so non confrontational, that every little thing would upset me greatly. but i think it's good for me, cos with everyone, im learning to make sure that it affects me less and less. not that i don't try to solve the problem, but i try to make sure i dont let myself go to pieces emotionally as well. haha God still loves me, so all is well (:

loveloveee (: